Today we celebrated my children's interim reports
They seem to have
mastered all courses including electives
with the exception of Music
in which Kirby dropped to an 87.5%
(in which I'm sure she can bring up in
the next 3 weeks)
How proud I am of both
she and William
I take extreme pride in this
not just because they are my
children
but because as a single parent
I have to make time for study
we learn daily
we study daily
weekdays, weeknights and spring/summer/winter breaks
it's hard work
We Learn together
So we ate crab, broccoli and fettucini noodles
with Texas toast
with fresh fruit
and sparkling drink in the champagne glass
and water in the other
and we lit the candles
and we toasted several times
with several rounds of drink
and dinner napkins
beautiful stoneware and marble handled silverware
and we had a ball
and we didn't have to go far away
to enjoy
and we served ourselves
and we were joyous and loving
We couldn't ask for a better celebration
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
What I see in your Eyes
I see that you have been raped of your innocence
You have been manipulated and stripped of your resources
You were beaten of your strength
Broken down to the lowest common denominator
Humiliated and degraded
Torn apart and never rebuilt
I see the tear in your eye
The strain of your sight
I see the whole you
I see the unadulterated Word
in your eye
I see you
America
You have been manipulated and stripped of your resources
You were beaten of your strength
Broken down to the lowest common denominator
Humiliated and degraded
Torn apart and never rebuilt
I see the tear in your eye
The strain of your sight
I see the whole you
I see the unadulterated Word
in your eye
I see you
America
What I love about You---Life (part III)
Macaroni and cheese casserole; swimming; cable TV; Martha's Vineyard salad; DSL, light rock music; seashells; the English language; international circus; oratorical contests; compliments; Sydney's smile; horseback riding; throwing horseshoes; talking late night; dreaming; giving analogies; reaching out to those in need; cleaning my auto; playing table tennis; lacrosse, football, volleyball and soccer; reading the newspaper after letting my co-worker read it; reviewing Craig's list; reading The Onion newsletter; watching comedy; eating calamari; discussing current events; & juggling various projects.
CELL PHONE vs. BIBLE
I wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell phone?
What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?
What if we flipped through it several times a day?
What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?
What if we used it to receive messages from the text?
What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?!
What if we gave it to our kids as gifts?
What if we used it when we traveled?
What if we used it in case of emergency?
This is something to make you go....hmm...where IS my Bible?
Oh, and one more thing. Unlike our cell phone, we don't have to worry
about our Bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill.
And no dropped calls!
What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?
What if we flipped through it several times a day?
What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?
What if we used it to receive messages from the text?
What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?!
What if we gave it to our kids as gifts?
What if we used it when we traveled?
What if we used it in case of emergency?
This is something to make you go....hmm...where IS my Bible?
Oh, and one more thing. Unlike our cell phone, we don't have to worry
about our Bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill.
And no dropped calls!
Monday, May 14, 2007
I Have a Dream speech (Transcribed) by Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.
Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.
But one hundred years later, the Negro still is not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languishing in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. So we have come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.
In a sense we have come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the unalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check, a check which has come back marked "insufficient funds." But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. So we have come to cash this check — a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quick sands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children.
It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. Those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.
But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.
We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force. The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny and their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone.
As we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as the Negro is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality. We can never be satisfied, as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We can never be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.
I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.
Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to South Carolina, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair.
I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."
I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.
I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.
I have a dream today.
I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.
I have a dream today.
I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.
This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the South with. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.
This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring."
And if America is to be a great nation this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania!
Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!
Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California!
But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia!
Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee!
Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.
And when this happens, When we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"
Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.
But one hundred years later, the Negro still is not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languishing in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. So we have come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.
In a sense we have come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the unalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check, a check which has come back marked "insufficient funds." But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. So we have come to cash this check — a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quick sands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children.
It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. Those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.
But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.
We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force. The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny and their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone.
As we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as the Negro is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality. We can never be satisfied, as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We can never be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.
I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.
Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to South Carolina, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair.
I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."
I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.
I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.
I have a dream today.
I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.
I have a dream today.
I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.
This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the South with. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.
This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring."
And if America is to be a great nation this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania!
Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!
Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California!
But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia!
Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee!
Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.
And when this happens, When we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"
Date Suggestions
For Homebodies
1. Cook a meal together.
2. Play a board game and rediscover your childhood.
3. Watch a full season of your favorite show on DVD for a TV marathon night.
For True Romantics
1. Create love coupons for foot rubs and back massages and cash them in.
2. Go all out with a traditional candlelight dinner.
3. Reserve a B&B getaway.
For Adventure Seekers
1. Spelunking (not the best idea for those afraid of heights).
2. Whitewater rafting.
3. Racecar driving school.
For Artistic Types
1. Take a pottery class.
2. Paint ceramics together.
3. Attend an art show.
For Those Who Love to Learn
1. Take a cooking class and expand your cooking repertoire as a couple.
2. Audit a class on your favorite subject from history to art to marketing.
3. Attend a poetry or book reading.
For Charity Givers
1. Help with bingo night at the local senior citizens' home.
2. Volunteer at the hospital.
3. Take an underprivileged kid to a ballgame or the circus.
For Sports Lovers
1. Watch a minor league game.
2. Join a pickup game in the park, from softball to volleyball to ultimate Frisbee.
3. Take scuba diving or golf lessons.
For Travel Buffs
1. Go for a weekend getaway.
2. Plan a vacation together.
3. Get in the car and drive.
For Family Lovers
1. Double date with the folks.
2. Play charades.
3. Plan and cook a big family dinner
Dating, Inc.Jeff Cohen is the author of Dating, Inc., a book that shows single women how to use proven business principles to find, select, and keep the right man for a relationship -- many of the same skills that already make them successful at work.
1. Cook a meal together.
2. Play a board game and rediscover your childhood.
3. Watch a full season of your favorite show on DVD for a TV marathon night.
For True Romantics
1. Create love coupons for foot rubs and back massages and cash them in.
2. Go all out with a traditional candlelight dinner.
3. Reserve a B&B getaway.
For Adventure Seekers
1. Spelunking (not the best idea for those afraid of heights).
2. Whitewater rafting.
3. Racecar driving school.
For Artistic Types
1. Take a pottery class.
2. Paint ceramics together.
3. Attend an art show.
For Those Who Love to Learn
1. Take a cooking class and expand your cooking repertoire as a couple.
2. Audit a class on your favorite subject from history to art to marketing.
3. Attend a poetry or book reading.
For Charity Givers
1. Help with bingo night at the local senior citizens' home.
2. Volunteer at the hospital.
3. Take an underprivileged kid to a ballgame or the circus.
For Sports Lovers
1. Watch a minor league game.
2. Join a pickup game in the park, from softball to volleyball to ultimate Frisbee.
3. Take scuba diving or golf lessons.
For Travel Buffs
1. Go for a weekend getaway.
2. Plan a vacation together.
3. Get in the car and drive.
For Family Lovers
1. Double date with the folks.
2. Play charades.
3. Plan and cook a big family dinner
Dating, Inc.Jeff Cohen is the author of Dating, Inc., a book that shows single women how to use proven business principles to find, select, and keep the right man for a relationship -- many of the same skills that already make them successful at work.
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
5 Dating Tips for Single Parents (Ebony Magazine)
• Dispose of "your type." Many newly single parents re-enter the social scene seeking the exact replica of the type of people they have dated in their past—good or bad.
• Reject the notion that your next significant other is in one specific location, such as at the nightclub. Don’t expect to meet the love of your life at these events. You could meet your next love interest on an elevator, on the subway or through a friend.
• Single parents and singles in general should be open to the synchronicities of life and allow for opportunity to usher in friendship, and then love.
• While Sisterhood is a beautiful thing, don’t go out with your girlfriends and stick with them all evening. Split up from the girls and socialize with other people.
• Join a local dating group or organization for singles such as www.Flirtingtime.com or www.Meetup.com. These groups host live events in different cities on a regular basis.
• Reject the notion that your next significant other is in one specific location, such as at the nightclub. Don’t expect to meet the love of your life at these events. You could meet your next love interest on an elevator, on the subway or through a friend.
• Single parents and singles in general should be open to the synchronicities of life and allow for opportunity to usher in friendship, and then love.
• While Sisterhood is a beautiful thing, don’t go out with your girlfriends and stick with them all evening. Split up from the girls and socialize with other people.
• Join a local dating group or organization for singles such as www.Flirtingtime.com or www.Meetup.com. These groups host live events in different cities on a regular basis.
It's All In The Attitude . . . (Author Unknown)
What is God telling you with the problems He blesses you with? The
problems you face will either defeat you or develop you - depending on
how you respond to them.
Unfortunately most people fail to see how God wants to use problems for
good in their lives. They react foolishly and resent their problems
rather than pausing to consider what benefit they might bring. Here are
five ways God wants to use the problems in your life:
1. God uses problems to DIRECT you. Sometimes God must light a fire
under you to get you moving. Problems often point us in a new direction
and motivate us to change. Is God trying to get your attention?
"Sometimes it takes a painful situation to make us change our ways."
Proverbs 20:30 (GN)
2. God uses problems to INSPECT you. People are like tea bags... if you
want to know what's inside them, just drop them into hot water! Has God
ever tested your faith with a problem? What do problems reveal about
you? "When you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full of joy,
because you know that these troubles test your faith, and this will give
you patience." James
1:2-3 (NCV)
3. God uses problems to CORRECT you.Some lessons we learn only through
pain and failure. It's likely that as a child your parents told you not
to touch a hot stove. But you probably learned by being burned.
Sometimes we only learn the value of something ... health, money, a
relationship...by losing it. "... It was the best thing that could have
happened to me, for it taught me to pay attention to your laws." Psalm
119:71-72 (LB)
4. God uses problems to PROTECT you. A problem can be a blessing in
disguise if it prevents you from being harmed by something more serious.
Last year a friend was fired for refusing to do something unethical that
his boss had asked him to do. His unemployment was a problem - but it
saved him from being convicted and sent to prison a year later when
management's actions were eventually discovered. "You intended to harm
me, but God intended it for good. . ." Genesis 50:20 (NIV)
5. God uses problems to PERFECT you. Problems, when responded to
correctly, are character builders. God is far more interested in your
character than your comfort. Your relationship to God and your character
are the only two things you're going to take with you into eternity. "We
can rejoice when we run into problems. . . they help us learn to be
patient. And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us
trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are
strong and steady." Romans
5:3-4 (LB)
Here's the point: God is at work in your life - even when you do not
recognize it or understand it. But it's much easier and profitable when
you cooperate with Him.
problems you face will either defeat you or develop you - depending on
how you respond to them.
Unfortunately most people fail to see how God wants to use problems for
good in their lives. They react foolishly and resent their problems
rather than pausing to consider what benefit they might bring. Here are
five ways God wants to use the problems in your life:
1. God uses problems to DIRECT you. Sometimes God must light a fire
under you to get you moving. Problems often point us in a new direction
and motivate us to change. Is God trying to get your attention?
"Sometimes it takes a painful situation to make us change our ways."
Proverbs 20:30 (GN)
2. God uses problems to INSPECT you. People are like tea bags... if you
want to know what's inside them, just drop them into hot water! Has God
ever tested your faith with a problem? What do problems reveal about
you? "When you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full of joy,
because you know that these troubles test your faith, and this will give
you patience." James
1:2-3 (NCV)
3. God uses problems to CORRECT you.Some lessons we learn only through
pain and failure. It's likely that as a child your parents told you not
to touch a hot stove. But you probably learned by being burned.
Sometimes we only learn the value of something ... health, money, a
relationship...by losing it. "... It was the best thing that could have
happened to me, for it taught me to pay attention to your laws." Psalm
119:71-72 (LB)
4. God uses problems to PROTECT you. A problem can be a blessing in
disguise if it prevents you from being harmed by something more serious.
Last year a friend was fired for refusing to do something unethical that
his boss had asked him to do. His unemployment was a problem - but it
saved him from being convicted and sent to prison a year later when
management's actions were eventually discovered. "You intended to harm
me, but God intended it for good. . ." Genesis 50:20 (NIV)
5. God uses problems to PERFECT you. Problems, when responded to
correctly, are character builders. God is far more interested in your
character than your comfort. Your relationship to God and your character
are the only two things you're going to take with you into eternity. "We
can rejoice when we run into problems. . . they help us learn to be
patient. And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us
trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are
strong and steady." Romans
5:3-4 (LB)
Here's the point: God is at work in your life - even when you do not
recognize it or understand it. But it's much easier and profitable when
you cooperate with Him.
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Love Them Anyway by Mother Teresa
People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Be good anyway.
Honesty and frankness will make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People need help, but may attack you if you try to help them.
Help them anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.
Love them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Be good anyway.
Honesty and frankness will make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People need help, but may attack you if you try to help them.
Help them anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.
Overview of the 7 Habits... by Stephen Covey
Habit 1 - Be Proactive
Be Proactive Begin With The End in Mind Put First Things First Think Win-Win Seek First To Understand Synergize Sharpen The Saw The 8th Habit
The first of the 7 Habits is - Be Proactive. It is perhaps a great compliment to Stephen Covey that today, the substance of this first habit is deeply embedded into the management psyche. We are told, in business, that we should be proactive; and broadly what is meant by that is to focus our efforts and attention on the long-term and to think in terms of the long-term consequences of our actions.
Covey contrasts being proactive or having a proactive mentality with being reactive. Reactive people, he says, are those who are resigned to the truth that whatever they do in the present can have no effect on their circumstances. And interestingly, for reactive people, it really is a truth, for whatever we believe in our heart affects our thoughts, words and actions. If we really believe that we can do nothing about our unreasonable boss or the daily events in our lives, then we simply do not make the effort.
Proactive people, on the other hand, simply will not accept that there is nothing that can be done about the unreasonable boss or the events of daily life - they will point out that there are always choices. It is by the decisions we make, our responses to people, events and circumstances that proactive people can and do affect the future. We may have no control over what life throws at us but we always have a choice about how we are to respond.
Now this notion that having a particular attitude of mind (which is really where this habit begins) can make such a huge and positive difference to almost everything we experience in life is foreign to those who have already internalised the opposite habit as a part of their personalities. For some people, the glass is always half-empty and the feeling of melancholy is a pleasant reminder that something is indeed missing. For such people, this habit represents a bitter pill to swallow - but, says Covey, it is also completely liberating.
When we are finally prepared to accept full responsibility for the effects that are manifest in our lives; when we have the strength of character to admit it when we make mistakes (even big ones); when we are completely free to exercise the options available to us in every situation; then it can be said that we have finally internalised this habit. The other six of the habits require that we first work on our basic character by becoming proactive and thereby transforming ourselves into men and women of integrity.
Habit 2 - Begin with the End in Mind
Be Proactive Begin With The End in Mind Put First Things First Think Win-Win Seek First To Understand Synergize Sharpen The Saw The 8th Habit
The second of the habits is - Begin with the End in Mind. Many people in the west identify with the frustration of success. Being successful at their chosen career and committed to its progress they come to realise that it does not, in the final analysis, bring any sense of real satisfaction. The reason for this ultimate dissatisfaction is that they did not begin with the end in mind. For many people, it is not just that they did not begin with the end in mind; it goes a bit deeper - they did not ever get around to defining the end itself and so they simply could not begin with the end in mind. So what does all this mean? The end represents the purpose of your life. Until you can say what that purpose is, with assurance, then you just cannot direct your life in the manner that would bring you the greatest satisfaction.
There are no short-cuts here. To engage in this habit, you need to have a dream, define your own vision and get into the practice of setting goals which will allow you to make measurable progress toward the dream. If you practice a faith, then you will want to consider how this affects your purpose in life; if you do not, you will still need to get involved in deep self-examination to find out exactly what it is that will bring you fulfilment. To help you with this, you may wish to obtain my E-Book The Deepest Desire of Your Heart; available from this site. The book contains some excellent self-reflection exercises you can use to focus your mind on what is most important to you in life.
Until you have defined your vision - the big dream to which you will be working - you will be unable to move on to habit 3 which provides a basic framework for you to re-align your efforts so that you will ultimately achieve your heart's desire.
Habit 3 - First Things First
Be Proactive Begin With The End in Mind Put First Things First Think Win-Win Seek First To Understand Synergize Sharpen The Saw The 8th Habit
The third habit is - First Thing First. Following the amazing popularity of his work on The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey published a second book that deals with the 7 Habits; and the title of that book is also First Things First. Both the book and this habit deal with subject of managing your time effectively.
Consider the simple 2 x 2 matrix shown below. It plots the concepts of urgency and importance against each other; and represents where you are spending your time. To really understand and apply this habit, you need to have first done habit 2 - that is, you should already have defined what is important to you. Without first doing this, habit 3 has no power because you simply cannot separate what is important from what is not important.
This representation shows four categories of demand which may be made on your time. Quadrant 1 consists of activities which are both urgent and important - in other words, things to which you absolutely must attend. Why must you do these things? Because they are important - meaning that they contribute to your mission; and they are urgent - meaning that they have some sort of deadline associated with them.
Choices about where to invest your time really are made in the other categories; and most people - driven by the concept of urgency - get drawn into Quadrant 3; doing things that consume their time but do not contribute to their goals. Highly Effective People (yes they all fit together you see) understand that the high leverage activities are all Quadrant 2 - important but not urgent. Planning, preparation, prevention, relationship-building, reading, improving your professional knowledge and exercise are all examples of Quadrant 2 activity - not an exhaustive list, by any means.
We all intuitively know that Quadrant 2 activities are the key to getting results; but you need to have internalised the first two habits before you can benefit from the high leverage this habit brings. In other words, you first need to have developed the strength of character (proactivity) which allows you to be able to say no to demands on your time that fall into Quadrants 2 and 3; and you also need to have defined what importance means for you - otherwise the Quadrants do not exist.
Put habits 1,2 and 3 together and you have the ultimate success formula. Stated simply - get your mind right; define what is important; then organise your life to maximise your Quadrant 2 efforts. By spending appropriate time on Quadrant 2 activities, you will gain control over the circumstances of your life; Quadrant 1 will actually get smaller because you will have anticipated and prepared for much Quadrant 1 activity. Concentrating on Quadrant 2 is absolutely fundamental to achieving success. You might like to take a look at the 4tm Spreadsheet, available from this site, which can help you to make this key adjustment in the use of your time.
Habit 4 - Think Win Win
Be Proactive Begin With The End in Mind Put First Things First Think Win-Win Seek First To Understand Synergize Sharpen The Saw The 8th Habit
The next of the 7 Habits is - Think Win-Win. This habit is again an attitude of mind. It concerns fostering an attitude that is committed to always finding solutions that will truly benefit both sides of a dispute. Solutions do not, of course, exist in themselves; they must be created. And, even if we cannot see the solution to a particular problem, it does not mean that no such solution exists. The win-win idea is not based upon compromise - that is where most disputes naturally end. But compromise is the result of not properly perceiving the possible synergy of the situation.
The more you practice this habit, the more committed you will become as you find solutions which truly do benefit both parties, where originally it looked as if no such agreement might be reached. Covey has amended the wording of this habit slightly in recent years to read: Think Win-Win or No Deal. This attitude works well because it liberates the individuals concerned from the effort of trying to persuade the opposite party to shift ground or compromise. The effort is instead spend on trying to understand, which is where habit 5 comes in - you see, they are also sequential.
Habit 5 - Seek First to Understand
then be Understood
Be Proactive Begin With The End in Mind Put First Things First Think Win-Win Seek First To Understand Synergize Sharpen The Saw The 8th Habit
The fifth habit is - Seek First to Understand. What most people do, naturally, when involved in some type of discussion, meeting or dialogue is exactly the reverse - they seek first to be understood. And, as Stephen Covey says, when both parties are trying to be understood, neither party is really listening; he calls such an interaction, 'the dialogue of the deaf'. This habit is an important key to inter-personal relationships and it seems to be almost magical in its ability to transform the course of discussions. Why? Because by making the investment of time and effort required to understand the other party, the dynamics of the interchange are subtly affected.
This habit is not just about letting the other person speak first; it concerns actually making the effort to understand what is being said. It is about understanding that our natural habit of mind is to misunderstand. When we are engaged in conversation, error is always present. NLP tells us that we simply make our own meaning based on our own experiences and understanding of life; and frequently we make the wrong meaning. You might like to take a look at the answers given by school-children on history exams which illustrates this principle - we are no different!
If however, we are prepared to invest the time and effort to really understand the other person's position; and to get into the habit of spending the first part of the discussion doing so; then, when it is felt by the other person that you do indeed understand, the dynamic changes. People become more open, more teachable, more interested in what you may have to say and with the mutual understanding that flows from this habit, you are ready to practice habit 6; which concerns finding creative solutions.
Habit 6 - Synergize
Be Proactive Begin With The End in Mind Put First Things First Think Win-Win Seek First To Understand Synergize Sharpen The Saw The 8th Habit
The sixth of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is - Synergize. This habit involves you putting your head together with the other party or parties in order to creatively brainstorm a synergistic solution to a problem i.e. to find a solution which contains win-win benefits. It can only be done successfully if you have first practiced habits 4 and 5. The well-known definition of synergy is as follows:
Synergy - When the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.
Finding a synergistic solution means finding a solution which is better than either party might first propose. Such a solution can only be found if both parties truly understand the other parties position - the fruit of habits 4 and 5. There have been many books written on successful brainstorming techniques; my own favourite techniques are those proposed by Edward DeBono - professor of thinking and perhaps most famous for Lateral Thinking.
Putting habit 4, 5 and 6 together, you have a perfect model for human interaction. Put simply: first be mentally committed to the idea that a solution that will benefit all parties may be constructed; next invest the necessary time and effort to really understand the other party and do that first; finally creatively brainstorm a synergistic solution - a natural product of mutual understanding and respect.
Habit 7 - Sharpen the Saw
Be Proactive Begin With The End in Mind Put First Things First Think Win-Win Seek First To Understand Synergize Sharpen The Saw The 8th Habit
The last habit of the 7 Habits is - Sharpen the Saw. In this habit, you are the saw; and to Sharpen the Saw is to become better, keener and more effective. Highly Effective People always take time to Sharpen the Saw. What is meant by Sharpening the Saw is to regularly engage in the exercise of the three dimensions which make up the human condition: body, mind and spirit. Covey also adds a fourth dimension - the inter-personal.
Spiritual Exercise
Let us begin by considering Spiritual Exercise - this is the area which is perhaps the most misunderstood. I believe that, in the west, we have become spiritually blind. The progress of our science, education and technology has lead us to construct a view of the world and the universe that excludes the agency of God. Freud famously said that it was man that made God 'in the image of his father'. It is, of course, a very clever statement and not one I wish to here challenge - whether this statement or the reverse is true is for you to decide. However, as the west has, by and large, abandoned faith in the creator God, so it has simultaneously abandoned the idea that life has any meaning or purpose; and it is purpose and direction in life that this habit refers to as Spiritual Exercise. Of course, if you are a religious person, then there will be a tie-up here with your personal faith; however, if you are not religious, don't also abandon the idea that life holds a special purpose for you.
To exercise spiritually, I recommend that you consider engaging in some form of meditation. Meditation involves regularly sitting in a relaxed position and thinking about nothing for a period of about 10 or 15 minutes. Why this practice should bring about any material benefits is an interesting question. You might consider that you relax your mind quite enough when you sleep, but it turns out that we don't really relax our minds when we sleep. The brain is active during sleep - during REM sleep, the brain appears to be processing information. Though it is not yet known exactly what it is doing, the brain is certainly not passive and so the mind is not relaxed during sleep. Meditation is the practice of disciplining the mind, It is difficult to do at first, but if you stick with it, positive health benefits will follow.
Making use of Jack Black's House on the Right Bank is an excellent tool for combining what is really guided meditation with the practice of regularly reviewing your mission, your roles and your goals; and that is what Stephen Covey means when he talks about spiritual exercise - the regular, review and preview of the things that are most important to you in life. These are the first things that you must define in habit 2 - Begin with the End in Mind.
Physical Exercise
Regular aerobic, physical exercise is essential for health, energy and a feeling of well-being. Naturally, you should always consult your doctor or physician before you embark upon any course of physical exercise; and it should be obvious that such professional advice as may be given, should always be taken into account.
To practice this part of Habit 7 requires that you commit to at least three sessions of at least twenty minutes per week. If you are not already engaged in this sort of exercise, you will find that after a period of about six weeks, you will feel much better, much healthier and indeed your body will become more efficient at processing oxygen - which is the key to energy.
Mental Exercise
Ask yourself these questions. What am I doing to sharpen my mind? Am I engaged in a programme of education or learning of some kind? What am I doing to improve my professional knowledge?
How you should go about this part of the habit is, of course, for you to decide, but you should ensure that you are reading regularly. What should you read? Naturally you want to put in the good stuff - so it's not a case of reading for its own sake; it is reading carefully selected material which allows you to broaden and deepen your understanding.
You will naturally be paying particular attention to the important areas you defined in habit 2, but you should also consider reading all the great works of literature and also ancient wisdom literature which includes books like The Psalms and Proverbs..
Interpersonal
This part is not really a discipline, as are the other three parts, it is really a commitment; and for me, I make the commitment during the spiritual part of the habit, that is, during a meditation. It is simply to commit to approaching inter-personal relationships by making use of habits 4, 5 and 6.
Even if people approach me making use of language, actions, or behaviour which I personally believe to be inappropriate, my commitment is to not react, but to use my proactive capacity to engage in the exercise of habits 4, 5 and 6 which I believe will lead to the best possible outcome in such circumstances.
Be Proactive Begin With The End in Mind Put First Things First Think Win-Win Seek First To Understand Synergize Sharpen The Saw The 8th Habit
The first of the 7 Habits is - Be Proactive. It is perhaps a great compliment to Stephen Covey that today, the substance of this first habit is deeply embedded into the management psyche. We are told, in business, that we should be proactive; and broadly what is meant by that is to focus our efforts and attention on the long-term and to think in terms of the long-term consequences of our actions.
Covey contrasts being proactive or having a proactive mentality with being reactive. Reactive people, he says, are those who are resigned to the truth that whatever they do in the present can have no effect on their circumstances. And interestingly, for reactive people, it really is a truth, for whatever we believe in our heart affects our thoughts, words and actions. If we really believe that we can do nothing about our unreasonable boss or the daily events in our lives, then we simply do not make the effort.
Proactive people, on the other hand, simply will not accept that there is nothing that can be done about the unreasonable boss or the events of daily life - they will point out that there are always choices. It is by the decisions we make, our responses to people, events and circumstances that proactive people can and do affect the future. We may have no control over what life throws at us but we always have a choice about how we are to respond.
Now this notion that having a particular attitude of mind (which is really where this habit begins) can make such a huge and positive difference to almost everything we experience in life is foreign to those who have already internalised the opposite habit as a part of their personalities. For some people, the glass is always half-empty and the feeling of melancholy is a pleasant reminder that something is indeed missing. For such people, this habit represents a bitter pill to swallow - but, says Covey, it is also completely liberating.
When we are finally prepared to accept full responsibility for the effects that are manifest in our lives; when we have the strength of character to admit it when we make mistakes (even big ones); when we are completely free to exercise the options available to us in every situation; then it can be said that we have finally internalised this habit. The other six of the habits require that we first work on our basic character by becoming proactive and thereby transforming ourselves into men and women of integrity.
Habit 2 - Begin with the End in Mind
Be Proactive Begin With The End in Mind Put First Things First Think Win-Win Seek First To Understand Synergize Sharpen The Saw The 8th Habit
The second of the habits is - Begin with the End in Mind. Many people in the west identify with the frustration of success. Being successful at their chosen career and committed to its progress they come to realise that it does not, in the final analysis, bring any sense of real satisfaction. The reason for this ultimate dissatisfaction is that they did not begin with the end in mind. For many people, it is not just that they did not begin with the end in mind; it goes a bit deeper - they did not ever get around to defining the end itself and so they simply could not begin with the end in mind. So what does all this mean? The end represents the purpose of your life. Until you can say what that purpose is, with assurance, then you just cannot direct your life in the manner that would bring you the greatest satisfaction.
There are no short-cuts here. To engage in this habit, you need to have a dream, define your own vision and get into the practice of setting goals which will allow you to make measurable progress toward the dream. If you practice a faith, then you will want to consider how this affects your purpose in life; if you do not, you will still need to get involved in deep self-examination to find out exactly what it is that will bring you fulfilment. To help you with this, you may wish to obtain my E-Book The Deepest Desire of Your Heart; available from this site. The book contains some excellent self-reflection exercises you can use to focus your mind on what is most important to you in life.
Until you have defined your vision - the big dream to which you will be working - you will be unable to move on to habit 3 which provides a basic framework for you to re-align your efforts so that you will ultimately achieve your heart's desire.
Habit 3 - First Things First
Be Proactive Begin With The End in Mind Put First Things First Think Win-Win Seek First To Understand Synergize Sharpen The Saw The 8th Habit
The third habit is - First Thing First. Following the amazing popularity of his work on The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey published a second book that deals with the 7 Habits; and the title of that book is also First Things First. Both the book and this habit deal with subject of managing your time effectively.
Consider the simple 2 x 2 matrix shown below. It plots the concepts of urgency and importance against each other; and represents where you are spending your time. To really understand and apply this habit, you need to have first done habit 2 - that is, you should already have defined what is important to you. Without first doing this, habit 3 has no power because you simply cannot separate what is important from what is not important.
This representation shows four categories of demand which may be made on your time. Quadrant 1 consists of activities which are both urgent and important - in other words, things to which you absolutely must attend. Why must you do these things? Because they are important - meaning that they contribute to your mission; and they are urgent - meaning that they have some sort of deadline associated with them.
Choices about where to invest your time really are made in the other categories; and most people - driven by the concept of urgency - get drawn into Quadrant 3; doing things that consume their time but do not contribute to their goals. Highly Effective People (yes they all fit together you see) understand that the high leverage activities are all Quadrant 2 - important but not urgent. Planning, preparation, prevention, relationship-building, reading, improving your professional knowledge and exercise are all examples of Quadrant 2 activity - not an exhaustive list, by any means.
We all intuitively know that Quadrant 2 activities are the key to getting results; but you need to have internalised the first two habits before you can benefit from the high leverage this habit brings. In other words, you first need to have developed the strength of character (proactivity) which allows you to be able to say no to demands on your time that fall into Quadrants 2 and 3; and you also need to have defined what importance means for you - otherwise the Quadrants do not exist.
Put habits 1,2 and 3 together and you have the ultimate success formula. Stated simply - get your mind right; define what is important; then organise your life to maximise your Quadrant 2 efforts. By spending appropriate time on Quadrant 2 activities, you will gain control over the circumstances of your life; Quadrant 1 will actually get smaller because you will have anticipated and prepared for much Quadrant 1 activity. Concentrating on Quadrant 2 is absolutely fundamental to achieving success. You might like to take a look at the 4tm Spreadsheet, available from this site, which can help you to make this key adjustment in the use of your time.
Habit 4 - Think Win Win
Be Proactive Begin With The End in Mind Put First Things First Think Win-Win Seek First To Understand Synergize Sharpen The Saw The 8th Habit
The next of the 7 Habits is - Think Win-Win. This habit is again an attitude of mind. It concerns fostering an attitude that is committed to always finding solutions that will truly benefit both sides of a dispute. Solutions do not, of course, exist in themselves; they must be created. And, even if we cannot see the solution to a particular problem, it does not mean that no such solution exists. The win-win idea is not based upon compromise - that is where most disputes naturally end. But compromise is the result of not properly perceiving the possible synergy of the situation.
The more you practice this habit, the more committed you will become as you find solutions which truly do benefit both parties, where originally it looked as if no such agreement might be reached. Covey has amended the wording of this habit slightly in recent years to read: Think Win-Win or No Deal. This attitude works well because it liberates the individuals concerned from the effort of trying to persuade the opposite party to shift ground or compromise. The effort is instead spend on trying to understand, which is where habit 5 comes in - you see, they are also sequential.
Habit 5 - Seek First to Understand
then be Understood
Be Proactive Begin With The End in Mind Put First Things First Think Win-Win Seek First To Understand Synergize Sharpen The Saw The 8th Habit
The fifth habit is - Seek First to Understand. What most people do, naturally, when involved in some type of discussion, meeting or dialogue is exactly the reverse - they seek first to be understood. And, as Stephen Covey says, when both parties are trying to be understood, neither party is really listening; he calls such an interaction, 'the dialogue of the deaf'. This habit is an important key to inter-personal relationships and it seems to be almost magical in its ability to transform the course of discussions. Why? Because by making the investment of time and effort required to understand the other party, the dynamics of the interchange are subtly affected.
This habit is not just about letting the other person speak first; it concerns actually making the effort to understand what is being said. It is about understanding that our natural habit of mind is to misunderstand. When we are engaged in conversation, error is always present. NLP tells us that we simply make our own meaning based on our own experiences and understanding of life; and frequently we make the wrong meaning. You might like to take a look at the answers given by school-children on history exams which illustrates this principle - we are no different!
If however, we are prepared to invest the time and effort to really understand the other person's position; and to get into the habit of spending the first part of the discussion doing so; then, when it is felt by the other person that you do indeed understand, the dynamic changes. People become more open, more teachable, more interested in what you may have to say and with the mutual understanding that flows from this habit, you are ready to practice habit 6; which concerns finding creative solutions.
Habit 6 - Synergize
Be Proactive Begin With The End in Mind Put First Things First Think Win-Win Seek First To Understand Synergize Sharpen The Saw The 8th Habit
The sixth of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is - Synergize. This habit involves you putting your head together with the other party or parties in order to creatively brainstorm a synergistic solution to a problem i.e. to find a solution which contains win-win benefits. It can only be done successfully if you have first practiced habits 4 and 5. The well-known definition of synergy is as follows:
Synergy - When the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.
Finding a synergistic solution means finding a solution which is better than either party might first propose. Such a solution can only be found if both parties truly understand the other parties position - the fruit of habits 4 and 5. There have been many books written on successful brainstorming techniques; my own favourite techniques are those proposed by Edward DeBono - professor of thinking and perhaps most famous for Lateral Thinking.
Putting habit 4, 5 and 6 together, you have a perfect model for human interaction. Put simply: first be mentally committed to the idea that a solution that will benefit all parties may be constructed; next invest the necessary time and effort to really understand the other party and do that first; finally creatively brainstorm a synergistic solution - a natural product of mutual understanding and respect.
Habit 7 - Sharpen the Saw
Be Proactive Begin With The End in Mind Put First Things First Think Win-Win Seek First To Understand Synergize Sharpen The Saw The 8th Habit
The last habit of the 7 Habits is - Sharpen the Saw. In this habit, you are the saw; and to Sharpen the Saw is to become better, keener and more effective. Highly Effective People always take time to Sharpen the Saw. What is meant by Sharpening the Saw is to regularly engage in the exercise of the three dimensions which make up the human condition: body, mind and spirit. Covey also adds a fourth dimension - the inter-personal.
Spiritual Exercise
Let us begin by considering Spiritual Exercise - this is the area which is perhaps the most misunderstood. I believe that, in the west, we have become spiritually blind. The progress of our science, education and technology has lead us to construct a view of the world and the universe that excludes the agency of God. Freud famously said that it was man that made God 'in the image of his father'. It is, of course, a very clever statement and not one I wish to here challenge - whether this statement or the reverse is true is for you to decide. However, as the west has, by and large, abandoned faith in the creator God, so it has simultaneously abandoned the idea that life has any meaning or purpose; and it is purpose and direction in life that this habit refers to as Spiritual Exercise. Of course, if you are a religious person, then there will be a tie-up here with your personal faith; however, if you are not religious, don't also abandon the idea that life holds a special purpose for you.
To exercise spiritually, I recommend that you consider engaging in some form of meditation. Meditation involves regularly sitting in a relaxed position and thinking about nothing for a period of about 10 or 15 minutes. Why this practice should bring about any material benefits is an interesting question. You might consider that you relax your mind quite enough when you sleep, but it turns out that we don't really relax our minds when we sleep. The brain is active during sleep - during REM sleep, the brain appears to be processing information. Though it is not yet known exactly what it is doing, the brain is certainly not passive and so the mind is not relaxed during sleep. Meditation is the practice of disciplining the mind, It is difficult to do at first, but if you stick with it, positive health benefits will follow.
Making use of Jack Black's House on the Right Bank is an excellent tool for combining what is really guided meditation with the practice of regularly reviewing your mission, your roles and your goals; and that is what Stephen Covey means when he talks about spiritual exercise - the regular, review and preview of the things that are most important to you in life. These are the first things that you must define in habit 2 - Begin with the End in Mind.
Physical Exercise
Regular aerobic, physical exercise is essential for health, energy and a feeling of well-being. Naturally, you should always consult your doctor or physician before you embark upon any course of physical exercise; and it should be obvious that such professional advice as may be given, should always be taken into account.
To practice this part of Habit 7 requires that you commit to at least three sessions of at least twenty minutes per week. If you are not already engaged in this sort of exercise, you will find that after a period of about six weeks, you will feel much better, much healthier and indeed your body will become more efficient at processing oxygen - which is the key to energy.
Mental Exercise
Ask yourself these questions. What am I doing to sharpen my mind? Am I engaged in a programme of education or learning of some kind? What am I doing to improve my professional knowledge?
How you should go about this part of the habit is, of course, for you to decide, but you should ensure that you are reading regularly. What should you read? Naturally you want to put in the good stuff - so it's not a case of reading for its own sake; it is reading carefully selected material which allows you to broaden and deepen your understanding.
You will naturally be paying particular attention to the important areas you defined in habit 2, but you should also consider reading all the great works of literature and also ancient wisdom literature which includes books like The Psalms and Proverbs..
Interpersonal
This part is not really a discipline, as are the other three parts, it is really a commitment; and for me, I make the commitment during the spiritual part of the habit, that is, during a meditation. It is simply to commit to approaching inter-personal relationships by making use of habits 4, 5 and 6.
Even if people approach me making use of language, actions, or behaviour which I personally believe to be inappropriate, my commitment is to not react, but to use my proactive capacity to engage in the exercise of habits 4, 5 and 6 which I believe will lead to the best possible outcome in such circumstances.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)