Thursday, September 6, 2007
Don't Give Up Without a Fight!
"Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed
for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned
back, strengthen your brothers." Luke 22:31-32
Three men went exploring in the jungles of Africa when suddenly and
unexpectedly two of them fell into quicksand. The third man who was on
the banks tried several times to rescue them but with no success. In the
meantime the two men in the quicksand slowly sank further down.
When it seemed like all hope was lost, one of the men began to struggle
vigorously. The man on the bank yelled to him, "Don't fight it, you will
only sink faster!" In spite of his warnings the man continued to fight,
and sure enough, he began to sink faster. Realizing that his condition
was getting worse, he still refused to sink without a fight. He
continued to struggle and fight while hearing the warnings from both
men, "Be still and don't fight it! You will only sink faster!"
Finally, just when his situation appeared to be hopeless, something
miraculous happened. Somehow, just before he was about to go under for
good, his hand touched the solid ground of embankment. He continued to
struggle until he pulled himself within a few feet of the embankment.
When the man on the shore saw that he was close enough to be rescued, he
ran to the embankment, extended his hand to him, and pulled him safely
to the shore.
After his rescue, the man turned to his friend who was still in the
quicksand. He yelled to him, "Fight! Fight with all you have! If I can
do it, you can too!" The man yelled back to him, "But I've been in here
too long! I've sunk deeper than you were! It's too late for me! I can't
make it! Tell my family I love them!" In spite of the many urgings and
promptings of the men on the shore, he refused to fight. Minutes later,
his head was completed submerged under the quicksand.
A few days later, they held a memorial for the man who died. They wept,
mourned, and expressed their sympathy for him. A few years later, one of
his children scratched these words on his tombstone, "Here lies a man
who didn't think his wife and children were worth fighting for. "
In contrast, they hailed the man who fought his way to the shore. Many
from miles around were inspired and encouraged by his determination to
live. They wrote books, sang songs, and conducted plays to spread his
story and inspire others. His family was extremely proud of him.
The hard cold reality of life is this: "No one admires a person who is
overcome by difficulties in life. They are pitied, mourned, and
sympathized." However, when a person faces the most difficult of
circumstances and fights their way out, that person is admired and
serves as a source of inspiration and encouragement for others.
It boils down to this: What do you want to be? Pitied or admired?
Prayer: My Father in heaven. There have been so many heartaches in my
life. Sometimes I want to give in to the voices inside, but Your grace
and mercy keep me going. I thank You for your peace and strength. I pray
in the name of Jesus the Christ. Amen.
Focus: God has brought me too far to give up now!
for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned
back, strengthen your brothers." Luke 22:31-32
Three men went exploring in the jungles of Africa when suddenly and
unexpectedly two of them fell into quicksand. The third man who was on
the banks tried several times to rescue them but with no success. In the
meantime the two men in the quicksand slowly sank further down.
When it seemed like all hope was lost, one of the men began to struggle
vigorously. The man on the bank yelled to him, "Don't fight it, you will
only sink faster!" In spite of his warnings the man continued to fight,
and sure enough, he began to sink faster. Realizing that his condition
was getting worse, he still refused to sink without a fight. He
continued to struggle and fight while hearing the warnings from both
men, "Be still and don't fight it! You will only sink faster!"
Finally, just when his situation appeared to be hopeless, something
miraculous happened. Somehow, just before he was about to go under for
good, his hand touched the solid ground of embankment. He continued to
struggle until he pulled himself within a few feet of the embankment.
When the man on the shore saw that he was close enough to be rescued, he
ran to the embankment, extended his hand to him, and pulled him safely
to the shore.
After his rescue, the man turned to his friend who was still in the
quicksand. He yelled to him, "Fight! Fight with all you have! If I can
do it, you can too!" The man yelled back to him, "But I've been in here
too long! I've sunk deeper than you were! It's too late for me! I can't
make it! Tell my family I love them!" In spite of the many urgings and
promptings of the men on the shore, he refused to fight. Minutes later,
his head was completed submerged under the quicksand.
A few days later, they held a memorial for the man who died. They wept,
mourned, and expressed their sympathy for him. A few years later, one of
his children scratched these words on his tombstone, "Here lies a man
who didn't think his wife and children were worth fighting for. "
In contrast, they hailed the man who fought his way to the shore. Many
from miles around were inspired and encouraged by his determination to
live. They wrote books, sang songs, and conducted plays to spread his
story and inspire others. His family was extremely proud of him.
The hard cold reality of life is this: "No one admires a person who is
overcome by difficulties in life. They are pitied, mourned, and
sympathized." However, when a person faces the most difficult of
circumstances and fights their way out, that person is admired and
serves as a source of inspiration and encouragement for others.
It boils down to this: What do you want to be? Pitied or admired?
Prayer: My Father in heaven. There have been so many heartaches in my
life. Sometimes I want to give in to the voices inside, but Your grace
and mercy keep me going. I thank You for your peace and strength. I pray
in the name of Jesus the Christ. Amen.
Focus: God has brought me too far to give up now!
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
A Celebration
Today we celebrated my children's interim reports
They seem to have
mastered all courses including electives
with the exception of Music
in which Kirby dropped to an 87.5%
(in which I'm sure she can bring up in
the next 3 weeks)
How proud I am of both
she and William
I take extreme pride in this
not just because they are my
children
but because as a single parent
I have to make time for study
we learn daily
we study daily
weekdays, weeknights and spring/summer/winter breaks
it's hard work
We Learn together
So we ate crab, broccoli and fettucini noodles
with Texas toast
with fresh fruit
and sparkling drink in the champagne glass
and water in the other
and we lit the candles
and we toasted several times
with several rounds of drink
and dinner napkins
beautiful stoneware and marble handled silverware
and we had a ball
and we didn't have to go far away
to enjoy
and we served ourselves
and we were joyous and loving
We couldn't ask for a better celebration
They seem to have
mastered all courses including electives
with the exception of Music
in which Kirby dropped to an 87.5%
(in which I'm sure she can bring up in
the next 3 weeks)
How proud I am of both
she and William
I take extreme pride in this
not just because they are my
children
but because as a single parent
I have to make time for study
we learn daily
we study daily
weekdays, weeknights and spring/summer/winter breaks
it's hard work
We Learn together
So we ate crab, broccoli and fettucini noodles
with Texas toast
with fresh fruit
and sparkling drink in the champagne glass
and water in the other
and we lit the candles
and we toasted several times
with several rounds of drink
and dinner napkins
beautiful stoneware and marble handled silverware
and we had a ball
and we didn't have to go far away
to enjoy
and we served ourselves
and we were joyous and loving
We couldn't ask for a better celebration
What I see in your Eyes
I see that you have been raped of your innocence
You have been manipulated and stripped of your resources
You were beaten of your strength
Broken down to the lowest common denominator
Humiliated and degraded
Torn apart and never rebuilt
I see the tear in your eye
The strain of your sight
I see the whole you
I see the unadulterated Word
in your eye
I see you
America
You have been manipulated and stripped of your resources
You were beaten of your strength
Broken down to the lowest common denominator
Humiliated and degraded
Torn apart and never rebuilt
I see the tear in your eye
The strain of your sight
I see the whole you
I see the unadulterated Word
in your eye
I see you
America
What I love about You---Life (part III)
Macaroni and cheese casserole; swimming; cable TV; Martha's Vineyard salad; DSL, light rock music; seashells; the English language; international circus; oratorical contests; compliments; Sydney's smile; horseback riding; throwing horseshoes; talking late night; dreaming; giving analogies; reaching out to those in need; cleaning my auto; playing table tennis; lacrosse, football, volleyball and soccer; reading the newspaper after letting my co-worker read it; reviewing Craig's list; reading The Onion newsletter; watching comedy; eating calamari; discussing current events; & juggling various projects.
CELL PHONE vs. BIBLE
I wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell phone?
What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?
What if we flipped through it several times a day?
What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?
What if we used it to receive messages from the text?
What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?!
What if we gave it to our kids as gifts?
What if we used it when we traveled?
What if we used it in case of emergency?
This is something to make you go....hmm...where IS my Bible?
Oh, and one more thing. Unlike our cell phone, we don't have to worry
about our Bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill.
And no dropped calls!
What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?
What if we flipped through it several times a day?
What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?
What if we used it to receive messages from the text?
What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?!
What if we gave it to our kids as gifts?
What if we used it when we traveled?
What if we used it in case of emergency?
This is something to make you go....hmm...where IS my Bible?
Oh, and one more thing. Unlike our cell phone, we don't have to worry
about our Bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill.
And no dropped calls!
Monday, May 14, 2007
I Have a Dream speech (Transcribed) by Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.
Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.
But one hundred years later, the Negro still is not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languishing in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. So we have come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.
In a sense we have come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the unalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check, a check which has come back marked "insufficient funds." But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. So we have come to cash this check — a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quick sands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children.
It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. Those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.
But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.
We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force. The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny and their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone.
As we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as the Negro is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality. We can never be satisfied, as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We can never be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.
I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.
Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to South Carolina, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair.
I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."
I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.
I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.
I have a dream today.
I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.
I have a dream today.
I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.
This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the South with. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.
This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring."
And if America is to be a great nation this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania!
Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!
Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California!
But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia!
Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee!
Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.
And when this happens, When we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"
Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.
But one hundred years later, the Negro still is not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languishing in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. So we have come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.
In a sense we have come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the unalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check, a check which has come back marked "insufficient funds." But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. So we have come to cash this check — a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quick sands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children.
It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. Those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.
But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.
We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force. The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny and their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone.
As we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as the Negro is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality. We can never be satisfied, as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We can never be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.
I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.
Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to South Carolina, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair.
I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."
I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.
I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.
I have a dream today.
I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.
I have a dream today.
I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.
This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the South with. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.
This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring."
And if America is to be a great nation this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania!
Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!
Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California!
But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia!
Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee!
Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.
And when this happens, When we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"
Date Suggestions
For Homebodies
1. Cook a meal together.
2. Play a board game and rediscover your childhood.
3. Watch a full season of your favorite show on DVD for a TV marathon night.
For True Romantics
1. Create love coupons for foot rubs and back massages and cash them in.
2. Go all out with a traditional candlelight dinner.
3. Reserve a B&B getaway.
For Adventure Seekers
1. Spelunking (not the best idea for those afraid of heights).
2. Whitewater rafting.
3. Racecar driving school.
For Artistic Types
1. Take a pottery class.
2. Paint ceramics together.
3. Attend an art show.
For Those Who Love to Learn
1. Take a cooking class and expand your cooking repertoire as a couple.
2. Audit a class on your favorite subject from history to art to marketing.
3. Attend a poetry or book reading.
For Charity Givers
1. Help with bingo night at the local senior citizens' home.
2. Volunteer at the hospital.
3. Take an underprivileged kid to a ballgame or the circus.
For Sports Lovers
1. Watch a minor league game.
2. Join a pickup game in the park, from softball to volleyball to ultimate Frisbee.
3. Take scuba diving or golf lessons.
For Travel Buffs
1. Go for a weekend getaway.
2. Plan a vacation together.
3. Get in the car and drive.
For Family Lovers
1. Double date with the folks.
2. Play charades.
3. Plan and cook a big family dinner
Dating, Inc.Jeff Cohen is the author of Dating, Inc., a book that shows single women how to use proven business principles to find, select, and keep the right man for a relationship -- many of the same skills that already make them successful at work.
1. Cook a meal together.
2. Play a board game and rediscover your childhood.
3. Watch a full season of your favorite show on DVD for a TV marathon night.
For True Romantics
1. Create love coupons for foot rubs and back massages and cash them in.
2. Go all out with a traditional candlelight dinner.
3. Reserve a B&B getaway.
For Adventure Seekers
1. Spelunking (not the best idea for those afraid of heights).
2. Whitewater rafting.
3. Racecar driving school.
For Artistic Types
1. Take a pottery class.
2. Paint ceramics together.
3. Attend an art show.
For Those Who Love to Learn
1. Take a cooking class and expand your cooking repertoire as a couple.
2. Audit a class on your favorite subject from history to art to marketing.
3. Attend a poetry or book reading.
For Charity Givers
1. Help with bingo night at the local senior citizens' home.
2. Volunteer at the hospital.
3. Take an underprivileged kid to a ballgame or the circus.
For Sports Lovers
1. Watch a minor league game.
2. Join a pickup game in the park, from softball to volleyball to ultimate Frisbee.
3. Take scuba diving or golf lessons.
For Travel Buffs
1. Go for a weekend getaway.
2. Plan a vacation together.
3. Get in the car and drive.
For Family Lovers
1. Double date with the folks.
2. Play charades.
3. Plan and cook a big family dinner
Dating, Inc.Jeff Cohen is the author of Dating, Inc., a book that shows single women how to use proven business principles to find, select, and keep the right man for a relationship -- many of the same skills that already make them successful at work.
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
5 Dating Tips for Single Parents (Ebony Magazine)
• Dispose of "your type." Many newly single parents re-enter the social scene seeking the exact replica of the type of people they have dated in their past—good or bad.
• Reject the notion that your next significant other is in one specific location, such as at the nightclub. Don’t expect to meet the love of your life at these events. You could meet your next love interest on an elevator, on the subway or through a friend.
• Single parents and singles in general should be open to the synchronicities of life and allow for opportunity to usher in friendship, and then love.
• While Sisterhood is a beautiful thing, don’t go out with your girlfriends and stick with them all evening. Split up from the girls and socialize with other people.
• Join a local dating group or organization for singles such as www.Flirtingtime.com or www.Meetup.com. These groups host live events in different cities on a regular basis.
• Reject the notion that your next significant other is in one specific location, such as at the nightclub. Don’t expect to meet the love of your life at these events. You could meet your next love interest on an elevator, on the subway or through a friend.
• Single parents and singles in general should be open to the synchronicities of life and allow for opportunity to usher in friendship, and then love.
• While Sisterhood is a beautiful thing, don’t go out with your girlfriends and stick with them all evening. Split up from the girls and socialize with other people.
• Join a local dating group or organization for singles such as www.Flirtingtime.com or www.Meetup.com. These groups host live events in different cities on a regular basis.
It's All In The Attitude . . . (Author Unknown)
What is God telling you with the problems He blesses you with? The
problems you face will either defeat you or develop you - depending on
how you respond to them.
Unfortunately most people fail to see how God wants to use problems for
good in their lives. They react foolishly and resent their problems
rather than pausing to consider what benefit they might bring. Here are
five ways God wants to use the problems in your life:
1. God uses problems to DIRECT you. Sometimes God must light a fire
under you to get you moving. Problems often point us in a new direction
and motivate us to change. Is God trying to get your attention?
"Sometimes it takes a painful situation to make us change our ways."
Proverbs 20:30 (GN)
2. God uses problems to INSPECT you. People are like tea bags... if you
want to know what's inside them, just drop them into hot water! Has God
ever tested your faith with a problem? What do problems reveal about
you? "When you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full of joy,
because you know that these troubles test your faith, and this will give
you patience." James
1:2-3 (NCV)
3. God uses problems to CORRECT you.Some lessons we learn only through
pain and failure. It's likely that as a child your parents told you not
to touch a hot stove. But you probably learned by being burned.
Sometimes we only learn the value of something ... health, money, a
relationship...by losing it. "... It was the best thing that could have
happened to me, for it taught me to pay attention to your laws." Psalm
119:71-72 (LB)
4. God uses problems to PROTECT you. A problem can be a blessing in
disguise if it prevents you from being harmed by something more serious.
Last year a friend was fired for refusing to do something unethical that
his boss had asked him to do. His unemployment was a problem - but it
saved him from being convicted and sent to prison a year later when
management's actions were eventually discovered. "You intended to harm
me, but God intended it for good. . ." Genesis 50:20 (NIV)
5. God uses problems to PERFECT you. Problems, when responded to
correctly, are character builders. God is far more interested in your
character than your comfort. Your relationship to God and your character
are the only two things you're going to take with you into eternity. "We
can rejoice when we run into problems. . . they help us learn to be
patient. And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us
trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are
strong and steady." Romans
5:3-4 (LB)
Here's the point: God is at work in your life - even when you do not
recognize it or understand it. But it's much easier and profitable when
you cooperate with Him.
problems you face will either defeat you or develop you - depending on
how you respond to them.
Unfortunately most people fail to see how God wants to use problems for
good in their lives. They react foolishly and resent their problems
rather than pausing to consider what benefit they might bring. Here are
five ways God wants to use the problems in your life:
1. God uses problems to DIRECT you. Sometimes God must light a fire
under you to get you moving. Problems often point us in a new direction
and motivate us to change. Is God trying to get your attention?
"Sometimes it takes a painful situation to make us change our ways."
Proverbs 20:30 (GN)
2. God uses problems to INSPECT you. People are like tea bags... if you
want to know what's inside them, just drop them into hot water! Has God
ever tested your faith with a problem? What do problems reveal about
you? "When you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full of joy,
because you know that these troubles test your faith, and this will give
you patience." James
1:2-3 (NCV)
3. God uses problems to CORRECT you.Some lessons we learn only through
pain and failure. It's likely that as a child your parents told you not
to touch a hot stove. But you probably learned by being burned.
Sometimes we only learn the value of something ... health, money, a
relationship...by losing it. "... It was the best thing that could have
happened to me, for it taught me to pay attention to your laws." Psalm
119:71-72 (LB)
4. God uses problems to PROTECT you. A problem can be a blessing in
disguise if it prevents you from being harmed by something more serious.
Last year a friend was fired for refusing to do something unethical that
his boss had asked him to do. His unemployment was a problem - but it
saved him from being convicted and sent to prison a year later when
management's actions were eventually discovered. "You intended to harm
me, but God intended it for good. . ." Genesis 50:20 (NIV)
5. God uses problems to PERFECT you. Problems, when responded to
correctly, are character builders. God is far more interested in your
character than your comfort. Your relationship to God and your character
are the only two things you're going to take with you into eternity. "We
can rejoice when we run into problems. . . they help us learn to be
patient. And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us
trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are
strong and steady." Romans
5:3-4 (LB)
Here's the point: God is at work in your life - even when you do not
recognize it or understand it. But it's much easier and profitable when
you cooperate with Him.
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Love Them Anyway by Mother Teresa
People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Be good anyway.
Honesty and frankness will make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People need help, but may attack you if you try to help them.
Help them anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.
Love them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Be good anyway.
Honesty and frankness will make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People need help, but may attack you if you try to help them.
Help them anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.
Overview of the 7 Habits... by Stephen Covey
Habit 1 - Be Proactive
Be Proactive Begin With The End in Mind Put First Things First Think Win-Win Seek First To Understand Synergize Sharpen The Saw The 8th Habit
The first of the 7 Habits is - Be Proactive. It is perhaps a great compliment to Stephen Covey that today, the substance of this first habit is deeply embedded into the management psyche. We are told, in business, that we should be proactive; and broadly what is meant by that is to focus our efforts and attention on the long-term and to think in terms of the long-term consequences of our actions.
Covey contrasts being proactive or having a proactive mentality with being reactive. Reactive people, he says, are those who are resigned to the truth that whatever they do in the present can have no effect on their circumstances. And interestingly, for reactive people, it really is a truth, for whatever we believe in our heart affects our thoughts, words and actions. If we really believe that we can do nothing about our unreasonable boss or the daily events in our lives, then we simply do not make the effort.
Proactive people, on the other hand, simply will not accept that there is nothing that can be done about the unreasonable boss or the events of daily life - they will point out that there are always choices. It is by the decisions we make, our responses to people, events and circumstances that proactive people can and do affect the future. We may have no control over what life throws at us but we always have a choice about how we are to respond.
Now this notion that having a particular attitude of mind (which is really where this habit begins) can make such a huge and positive difference to almost everything we experience in life is foreign to those who have already internalised the opposite habit as a part of their personalities. For some people, the glass is always half-empty and the feeling of melancholy is a pleasant reminder that something is indeed missing. For such people, this habit represents a bitter pill to swallow - but, says Covey, it is also completely liberating.
When we are finally prepared to accept full responsibility for the effects that are manifest in our lives; when we have the strength of character to admit it when we make mistakes (even big ones); when we are completely free to exercise the options available to us in every situation; then it can be said that we have finally internalised this habit. The other six of the habits require that we first work on our basic character by becoming proactive and thereby transforming ourselves into men and women of integrity.
Habit 2 - Begin with the End in Mind
Be Proactive Begin With The End in Mind Put First Things First Think Win-Win Seek First To Understand Synergize Sharpen The Saw The 8th Habit
The second of the habits is - Begin with the End in Mind. Many people in the west identify with the frustration of success. Being successful at their chosen career and committed to its progress they come to realise that it does not, in the final analysis, bring any sense of real satisfaction. The reason for this ultimate dissatisfaction is that they did not begin with the end in mind. For many people, it is not just that they did not begin with the end in mind; it goes a bit deeper - they did not ever get around to defining the end itself and so they simply could not begin with the end in mind. So what does all this mean? The end represents the purpose of your life. Until you can say what that purpose is, with assurance, then you just cannot direct your life in the manner that would bring you the greatest satisfaction.
There are no short-cuts here. To engage in this habit, you need to have a dream, define your own vision and get into the practice of setting goals which will allow you to make measurable progress toward the dream. If you practice a faith, then you will want to consider how this affects your purpose in life; if you do not, you will still need to get involved in deep self-examination to find out exactly what it is that will bring you fulfilment. To help you with this, you may wish to obtain my E-Book The Deepest Desire of Your Heart; available from this site. The book contains some excellent self-reflection exercises you can use to focus your mind on what is most important to you in life.
Until you have defined your vision - the big dream to which you will be working - you will be unable to move on to habit 3 which provides a basic framework for you to re-align your efforts so that you will ultimately achieve your heart's desire.
Habit 3 - First Things First
Be Proactive Begin With The End in Mind Put First Things First Think Win-Win Seek First To Understand Synergize Sharpen The Saw The 8th Habit
The third habit is - First Thing First. Following the amazing popularity of his work on The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey published a second book that deals with the 7 Habits; and the title of that book is also First Things First. Both the book and this habit deal with subject of managing your time effectively.
Consider the simple 2 x 2 matrix shown below. It plots the concepts of urgency and importance against each other; and represents where you are spending your time. To really understand and apply this habit, you need to have first done habit 2 - that is, you should already have defined what is important to you. Without first doing this, habit 3 has no power because you simply cannot separate what is important from what is not important.
This representation shows four categories of demand which may be made on your time. Quadrant 1 consists of activities which are both urgent and important - in other words, things to which you absolutely must attend. Why must you do these things? Because they are important - meaning that they contribute to your mission; and they are urgent - meaning that they have some sort of deadline associated with them.
Choices about where to invest your time really are made in the other categories; and most people - driven by the concept of urgency - get drawn into Quadrant 3; doing things that consume their time but do not contribute to their goals. Highly Effective People (yes they all fit together you see) understand that the high leverage activities are all Quadrant 2 - important but not urgent. Planning, preparation, prevention, relationship-building, reading, improving your professional knowledge and exercise are all examples of Quadrant 2 activity - not an exhaustive list, by any means.
We all intuitively know that Quadrant 2 activities are the key to getting results; but you need to have internalised the first two habits before you can benefit from the high leverage this habit brings. In other words, you first need to have developed the strength of character (proactivity) which allows you to be able to say no to demands on your time that fall into Quadrants 2 and 3; and you also need to have defined what importance means for you - otherwise the Quadrants do not exist.
Put habits 1,2 and 3 together and you have the ultimate success formula. Stated simply - get your mind right; define what is important; then organise your life to maximise your Quadrant 2 efforts. By spending appropriate time on Quadrant 2 activities, you will gain control over the circumstances of your life; Quadrant 1 will actually get smaller because you will have anticipated and prepared for much Quadrant 1 activity. Concentrating on Quadrant 2 is absolutely fundamental to achieving success. You might like to take a look at the 4tm Spreadsheet, available from this site, which can help you to make this key adjustment in the use of your time.
Habit 4 - Think Win Win
Be Proactive Begin With The End in Mind Put First Things First Think Win-Win Seek First To Understand Synergize Sharpen The Saw The 8th Habit
The next of the 7 Habits is - Think Win-Win. This habit is again an attitude of mind. It concerns fostering an attitude that is committed to always finding solutions that will truly benefit both sides of a dispute. Solutions do not, of course, exist in themselves; they must be created. And, even if we cannot see the solution to a particular problem, it does not mean that no such solution exists. The win-win idea is not based upon compromise - that is where most disputes naturally end. But compromise is the result of not properly perceiving the possible synergy of the situation.
The more you practice this habit, the more committed you will become as you find solutions which truly do benefit both parties, where originally it looked as if no such agreement might be reached. Covey has amended the wording of this habit slightly in recent years to read: Think Win-Win or No Deal. This attitude works well because it liberates the individuals concerned from the effort of trying to persuade the opposite party to shift ground or compromise. The effort is instead spend on trying to understand, which is where habit 5 comes in - you see, they are also sequential.
Habit 5 - Seek First to Understand
then be Understood
Be Proactive Begin With The End in Mind Put First Things First Think Win-Win Seek First To Understand Synergize Sharpen The Saw The 8th Habit
The fifth habit is - Seek First to Understand. What most people do, naturally, when involved in some type of discussion, meeting or dialogue is exactly the reverse - they seek first to be understood. And, as Stephen Covey says, when both parties are trying to be understood, neither party is really listening; he calls such an interaction, 'the dialogue of the deaf'. This habit is an important key to inter-personal relationships and it seems to be almost magical in its ability to transform the course of discussions. Why? Because by making the investment of time and effort required to understand the other party, the dynamics of the interchange are subtly affected.
This habit is not just about letting the other person speak first; it concerns actually making the effort to understand what is being said. It is about understanding that our natural habit of mind is to misunderstand. When we are engaged in conversation, error is always present. NLP tells us that we simply make our own meaning based on our own experiences and understanding of life; and frequently we make the wrong meaning. You might like to take a look at the answers given by school-children on history exams which illustrates this principle - we are no different!
If however, we are prepared to invest the time and effort to really understand the other person's position; and to get into the habit of spending the first part of the discussion doing so; then, when it is felt by the other person that you do indeed understand, the dynamic changes. People become more open, more teachable, more interested in what you may have to say and with the mutual understanding that flows from this habit, you are ready to practice habit 6; which concerns finding creative solutions.
Habit 6 - Synergize
Be Proactive Begin With The End in Mind Put First Things First Think Win-Win Seek First To Understand Synergize Sharpen The Saw The 8th Habit
The sixth of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is - Synergize. This habit involves you putting your head together with the other party or parties in order to creatively brainstorm a synergistic solution to a problem i.e. to find a solution which contains win-win benefits. It can only be done successfully if you have first practiced habits 4 and 5. The well-known definition of synergy is as follows:
Synergy - When the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.
Finding a synergistic solution means finding a solution which is better than either party might first propose. Such a solution can only be found if both parties truly understand the other parties position - the fruit of habits 4 and 5. There have been many books written on successful brainstorming techniques; my own favourite techniques are those proposed by Edward DeBono - professor of thinking and perhaps most famous for Lateral Thinking.
Putting habit 4, 5 and 6 together, you have a perfect model for human interaction. Put simply: first be mentally committed to the idea that a solution that will benefit all parties may be constructed; next invest the necessary time and effort to really understand the other party and do that first; finally creatively brainstorm a synergistic solution - a natural product of mutual understanding and respect.
Habit 7 - Sharpen the Saw
Be Proactive Begin With The End in Mind Put First Things First Think Win-Win Seek First To Understand Synergize Sharpen The Saw The 8th Habit
The last habit of the 7 Habits is - Sharpen the Saw. In this habit, you are the saw; and to Sharpen the Saw is to become better, keener and more effective. Highly Effective People always take time to Sharpen the Saw. What is meant by Sharpening the Saw is to regularly engage in the exercise of the three dimensions which make up the human condition: body, mind and spirit. Covey also adds a fourth dimension - the inter-personal.
Spiritual Exercise
Let us begin by considering Spiritual Exercise - this is the area which is perhaps the most misunderstood. I believe that, in the west, we have become spiritually blind. The progress of our science, education and technology has lead us to construct a view of the world and the universe that excludes the agency of God. Freud famously said that it was man that made God 'in the image of his father'. It is, of course, a very clever statement and not one I wish to here challenge - whether this statement or the reverse is true is for you to decide. However, as the west has, by and large, abandoned faith in the creator God, so it has simultaneously abandoned the idea that life has any meaning or purpose; and it is purpose and direction in life that this habit refers to as Spiritual Exercise. Of course, if you are a religious person, then there will be a tie-up here with your personal faith; however, if you are not religious, don't also abandon the idea that life holds a special purpose for you.
To exercise spiritually, I recommend that you consider engaging in some form of meditation. Meditation involves regularly sitting in a relaxed position and thinking about nothing for a period of about 10 or 15 minutes. Why this practice should bring about any material benefits is an interesting question. You might consider that you relax your mind quite enough when you sleep, but it turns out that we don't really relax our minds when we sleep. The brain is active during sleep - during REM sleep, the brain appears to be processing information. Though it is not yet known exactly what it is doing, the brain is certainly not passive and so the mind is not relaxed during sleep. Meditation is the practice of disciplining the mind, It is difficult to do at first, but if you stick with it, positive health benefits will follow.
Making use of Jack Black's House on the Right Bank is an excellent tool for combining what is really guided meditation with the practice of regularly reviewing your mission, your roles and your goals; and that is what Stephen Covey means when he talks about spiritual exercise - the regular, review and preview of the things that are most important to you in life. These are the first things that you must define in habit 2 - Begin with the End in Mind.
Physical Exercise
Regular aerobic, physical exercise is essential for health, energy and a feeling of well-being. Naturally, you should always consult your doctor or physician before you embark upon any course of physical exercise; and it should be obvious that such professional advice as may be given, should always be taken into account.
To practice this part of Habit 7 requires that you commit to at least three sessions of at least twenty minutes per week. If you are not already engaged in this sort of exercise, you will find that after a period of about six weeks, you will feel much better, much healthier and indeed your body will become more efficient at processing oxygen - which is the key to energy.
Mental Exercise
Ask yourself these questions. What am I doing to sharpen my mind? Am I engaged in a programme of education or learning of some kind? What am I doing to improve my professional knowledge?
How you should go about this part of the habit is, of course, for you to decide, but you should ensure that you are reading regularly. What should you read? Naturally you want to put in the good stuff - so it's not a case of reading for its own sake; it is reading carefully selected material which allows you to broaden and deepen your understanding.
You will naturally be paying particular attention to the important areas you defined in habit 2, but you should also consider reading all the great works of literature and also ancient wisdom literature which includes books like The Psalms and Proverbs..
Interpersonal
This part is not really a discipline, as are the other three parts, it is really a commitment; and for me, I make the commitment during the spiritual part of the habit, that is, during a meditation. It is simply to commit to approaching inter-personal relationships by making use of habits 4, 5 and 6.
Even if people approach me making use of language, actions, or behaviour which I personally believe to be inappropriate, my commitment is to not react, but to use my proactive capacity to engage in the exercise of habits 4, 5 and 6 which I believe will lead to the best possible outcome in such circumstances.
Be Proactive Begin With The End in Mind Put First Things First Think Win-Win Seek First To Understand Synergize Sharpen The Saw The 8th Habit
The first of the 7 Habits is - Be Proactive. It is perhaps a great compliment to Stephen Covey that today, the substance of this first habit is deeply embedded into the management psyche. We are told, in business, that we should be proactive; and broadly what is meant by that is to focus our efforts and attention on the long-term and to think in terms of the long-term consequences of our actions.
Covey contrasts being proactive or having a proactive mentality with being reactive. Reactive people, he says, are those who are resigned to the truth that whatever they do in the present can have no effect on their circumstances. And interestingly, for reactive people, it really is a truth, for whatever we believe in our heart affects our thoughts, words and actions. If we really believe that we can do nothing about our unreasonable boss or the daily events in our lives, then we simply do not make the effort.
Proactive people, on the other hand, simply will not accept that there is nothing that can be done about the unreasonable boss or the events of daily life - they will point out that there are always choices. It is by the decisions we make, our responses to people, events and circumstances that proactive people can and do affect the future. We may have no control over what life throws at us but we always have a choice about how we are to respond.
Now this notion that having a particular attitude of mind (which is really where this habit begins) can make such a huge and positive difference to almost everything we experience in life is foreign to those who have already internalised the opposite habit as a part of their personalities. For some people, the glass is always half-empty and the feeling of melancholy is a pleasant reminder that something is indeed missing. For such people, this habit represents a bitter pill to swallow - but, says Covey, it is also completely liberating.
When we are finally prepared to accept full responsibility for the effects that are manifest in our lives; when we have the strength of character to admit it when we make mistakes (even big ones); when we are completely free to exercise the options available to us in every situation; then it can be said that we have finally internalised this habit. The other six of the habits require that we first work on our basic character by becoming proactive and thereby transforming ourselves into men and women of integrity.
Habit 2 - Begin with the End in Mind
Be Proactive Begin With The End in Mind Put First Things First Think Win-Win Seek First To Understand Synergize Sharpen The Saw The 8th Habit
The second of the habits is - Begin with the End in Mind. Many people in the west identify with the frustration of success. Being successful at their chosen career and committed to its progress they come to realise that it does not, in the final analysis, bring any sense of real satisfaction. The reason for this ultimate dissatisfaction is that they did not begin with the end in mind. For many people, it is not just that they did not begin with the end in mind; it goes a bit deeper - they did not ever get around to defining the end itself and so they simply could not begin with the end in mind. So what does all this mean? The end represents the purpose of your life. Until you can say what that purpose is, with assurance, then you just cannot direct your life in the manner that would bring you the greatest satisfaction.
There are no short-cuts here. To engage in this habit, you need to have a dream, define your own vision and get into the practice of setting goals which will allow you to make measurable progress toward the dream. If you practice a faith, then you will want to consider how this affects your purpose in life; if you do not, you will still need to get involved in deep self-examination to find out exactly what it is that will bring you fulfilment. To help you with this, you may wish to obtain my E-Book The Deepest Desire of Your Heart; available from this site. The book contains some excellent self-reflection exercises you can use to focus your mind on what is most important to you in life.
Until you have defined your vision - the big dream to which you will be working - you will be unable to move on to habit 3 which provides a basic framework for you to re-align your efforts so that you will ultimately achieve your heart's desire.
Habit 3 - First Things First
Be Proactive Begin With The End in Mind Put First Things First Think Win-Win Seek First To Understand Synergize Sharpen The Saw The 8th Habit
The third habit is - First Thing First. Following the amazing popularity of his work on The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey published a second book that deals with the 7 Habits; and the title of that book is also First Things First. Both the book and this habit deal with subject of managing your time effectively.
Consider the simple 2 x 2 matrix shown below. It plots the concepts of urgency and importance against each other; and represents where you are spending your time. To really understand and apply this habit, you need to have first done habit 2 - that is, you should already have defined what is important to you. Without first doing this, habit 3 has no power because you simply cannot separate what is important from what is not important.
This representation shows four categories of demand which may be made on your time. Quadrant 1 consists of activities which are both urgent and important - in other words, things to which you absolutely must attend. Why must you do these things? Because they are important - meaning that they contribute to your mission; and they are urgent - meaning that they have some sort of deadline associated with them.
Choices about where to invest your time really are made in the other categories; and most people - driven by the concept of urgency - get drawn into Quadrant 3; doing things that consume their time but do not contribute to their goals. Highly Effective People (yes they all fit together you see) understand that the high leverage activities are all Quadrant 2 - important but not urgent. Planning, preparation, prevention, relationship-building, reading, improving your professional knowledge and exercise are all examples of Quadrant 2 activity - not an exhaustive list, by any means.
We all intuitively know that Quadrant 2 activities are the key to getting results; but you need to have internalised the first two habits before you can benefit from the high leverage this habit brings. In other words, you first need to have developed the strength of character (proactivity) which allows you to be able to say no to demands on your time that fall into Quadrants 2 and 3; and you also need to have defined what importance means for you - otherwise the Quadrants do not exist.
Put habits 1,2 and 3 together and you have the ultimate success formula. Stated simply - get your mind right; define what is important; then organise your life to maximise your Quadrant 2 efforts. By spending appropriate time on Quadrant 2 activities, you will gain control over the circumstances of your life; Quadrant 1 will actually get smaller because you will have anticipated and prepared for much Quadrant 1 activity. Concentrating on Quadrant 2 is absolutely fundamental to achieving success. You might like to take a look at the 4tm Spreadsheet, available from this site, which can help you to make this key adjustment in the use of your time.
Habit 4 - Think Win Win
Be Proactive Begin With The End in Mind Put First Things First Think Win-Win Seek First To Understand Synergize Sharpen The Saw The 8th Habit
The next of the 7 Habits is - Think Win-Win. This habit is again an attitude of mind. It concerns fostering an attitude that is committed to always finding solutions that will truly benefit both sides of a dispute. Solutions do not, of course, exist in themselves; they must be created. And, even if we cannot see the solution to a particular problem, it does not mean that no such solution exists. The win-win idea is not based upon compromise - that is where most disputes naturally end. But compromise is the result of not properly perceiving the possible synergy of the situation.
The more you practice this habit, the more committed you will become as you find solutions which truly do benefit both parties, where originally it looked as if no such agreement might be reached. Covey has amended the wording of this habit slightly in recent years to read: Think Win-Win or No Deal. This attitude works well because it liberates the individuals concerned from the effort of trying to persuade the opposite party to shift ground or compromise. The effort is instead spend on trying to understand, which is where habit 5 comes in - you see, they are also sequential.
Habit 5 - Seek First to Understand
then be Understood
Be Proactive Begin With The End in Mind Put First Things First Think Win-Win Seek First To Understand Synergize Sharpen The Saw The 8th Habit
The fifth habit is - Seek First to Understand. What most people do, naturally, when involved in some type of discussion, meeting or dialogue is exactly the reverse - they seek first to be understood. And, as Stephen Covey says, when both parties are trying to be understood, neither party is really listening; he calls such an interaction, 'the dialogue of the deaf'. This habit is an important key to inter-personal relationships and it seems to be almost magical in its ability to transform the course of discussions. Why? Because by making the investment of time and effort required to understand the other party, the dynamics of the interchange are subtly affected.
This habit is not just about letting the other person speak first; it concerns actually making the effort to understand what is being said. It is about understanding that our natural habit of mind is to misunderstand. When we are engaged in conversation, error is always present. NLP tells us that we simply make our own meaning based on our own experiences and understanding of life; and frequently we make the wrong meaning. You might like to take a look at the answers given by school-children on history exams which illustrates this principle - we are no different!
If however, we are prepared to invest the time and effort to really understand the other person's position; and to get into the habit of spending the first part of the discussion doing so; then, when it is felt by the other person that you do indeed understand, the dynamic changes. People become more open, more teachable, more interested in what you may have to say and with the mutual understanding that flows from this habit, you are ready to practice habit 6; which concerns finding creative solutions.
Habit 6 - Synergize
Be Proactive Begin With The End in Mind Put First Things First Think Win-Win Seek First To Understand Synergize Sharpen The Saw The 8th Habit
The sixth of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is - Synergize. This habit involves you putting your head together with the other party or parties in order to creatively brainstorm a synergistic solution to a problem i.e. to find a solution which contains win-win benefits. It can only be done successfully if you have first practiced habits 4 and 5. The well-known definition of synergy is as follows:
Synergy - When the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.
Finding a synergistic solution means finding a solution which is better than either party might first propose. Such a solution can only be found if both parties truly understand the other parties position - the fruit of habits 4 and 5. There have been many books written on successful brainstorming techniques; my own favourite techniques are those proposed by Edward DeBono - professor of thinking and perhaps most famous for Lateral Thinking.
Putting habit 4, 5 and 6 together, you have a perfect model for human interaction. Put simply: first be mentally committed to the idea that a solution that will benefit all parties may be constructed; next invest the necessary time and effort to really understand the other party and do that first; finally creatively brainstorm a synergistic solution - a natural product of mutual understanding and respect.
Habit 7 - Sharpen the Saw
Be Proactive Begin With The End in Mind Put First Things First Think Win-Win Seek First To Understand Synergize Sharpen The Saw The 8th Habit
The last habit of the 7 Habits is - Sharpen the Saw. In this habit, you are the saw; and to Sharpen the Saw is to become better, keener and more effective. Highly Effective People always take time to Sharpen the Saw. What is meant by Sharpening the Saw is to regularly engage in the exercise of the three dimensions which make up the human condition: body, mind and spirit. Covey also adds a fourth dimension - the inter-personal.
Spiritual Exercise
Let us begin by considering Spiritual Exercise - this is the area which is perhaps the most misunderstood. I believe that, in the west, we have become spiritually blind. The progress of our science, education and technology has lead us to construct a view of the world and the universe that excludes the agency of God. Freud famously said that it was man that made God 'in the image of his father'. It is, of course, a very clever statement and not one I wish to here challenge - whether this statement or the reverse is true is for you to decide. However, as the west has, by and large, abandoned faith in the creator God, so it has simultaneously abandoned the idea that life has any meaning or purpose; and it is purpose and direction in life that this habit refers to as Spiritual Exercise. Of course, if you are a religious person, then there will be a tie-up here with your personal faith; however, if you are not religious, don't also abandon the idea that life holds a special purpose for you.
To exercise spiritually, I recommend that you consider engaging in some form of meditation. Meditation involves regularly sitting in a relaxed position and thinking about nothing for a period of about 10 or 15 minutes. Why this practice should bring about any material benefits is an interesting question. You might consider that you relax your mind quite enough when you sleep, but it turns out that we don't really relax our minds when we sleep. The brain is active during sleep - during REM sleep, the brain appears to be processing information. Though it is not yet known exactly what it is doing, the brain is certainly not passive and so the mind is not relaxed during sleep. Meditation is the practice of disciplining the mind, It is difficult to do at first, but if you stick with it, positive health benefits will follow.
Making use of Jack Black's House on the Right Bank is an excellent tool for combining what is really guided meditation with the practice of regularly reviewing your mission, your roles and your goals; and that is what Stephen Covey means when he talks about spiritual exercise - the regular, review and preview of the things that are most important to you in life. These are the first things that you must define in habit 2 - Begin with the End in Mind.
Physical Exercise
Regular aerobic, physical exercise is essential for health, energy and a feeling of well-being. Naturally, you should always consult your doctor or physician before you embark upon any course of physical exercise; and it should be obvious that such professional advice as may be given, should always be taken into account.
To practice this part of Habit 7 requires that you commit to at least three sessions of at least twenty minutes per week. If you are not already engaged in this sort of exercise, you will find that after a period of about six weeks, you will feel much better, much healthier and indeed your body will become more efficient at processing oxygen - which is the key to energy.
Mental Exercise
Ask yourself these questions. What am I doing to sharpen my mind? Am I engaged in a programme of education or learning of some kind? What am I doing to improve my professional knowledge?
How you should go about this part of the habit is, of course, for you to decide, but you should ensure that you are reading regularly. What should you read? Naturally you want to put in the good stuff - so it's not a case of reading for its own sake; it is reading carefully selected material which allows you to broaden and deepen your understanding.
You will naturally be paying particular attention to the important areas you defined in habit 2, but you should also consider reading all the great works of literature and also ancient wisdom literature which includes books like The Psalms and Proverbs..
Interpersonal
This part is not really a discipline, as are the other three parts, it is really a commitment; and for me, I make the commitment during the spiritual part of the habit, that is, during a meditation. It is simply to commit to approaching inter-personal relationships by making use of habits 4, 5 and 6.
Even if people approach me making use of language, actions, or behaviour which I personally believe to be inappropriate, my commitment is to not react, but to use my proactive capacity to engage in the exercise of habits 4, 5 and 6 which I believe will lead to the best possible outcome in such circumstances.
Friday, April 27, 2007
The Creation by James Weldon Johnson
And God stepped out on space,
And he looked around and said:
I'm lonely--
I'll make me a world.
And far as the eye of God could see
Darkness covered everything,
Blacker than a hundred midnights
Down in a cypress swamp.
Then God smiled,
And the light broke,
And the darkness rolled up on one side,
And the light stood shining on the other,
And God said: That's good!
Then God reached out and took the light in his hands,
And God rolled the light around in his hands
Until he made the sun;
And he set that sun a-blazing in the heavens.
And the light that was left from making the sun
God gathered it up in a shining ball
And flung it against the darkness,
Spangling the night with the moon and stars.
Then down between
The darkness and the light
He hurled the world;
And God said: That's good!
Then God himself stepped down--
And the sun was on his right hand,
And the moon was on his left;
The stars were clustered about his head,
And the earth was under his feet.
And God walked, and where he trod
His footsteps hollowed the valleys out
And bulged the mountains up.
Then he stopped and looked and saw
That the earth was hot and barren.
So God stepped over to the edge of the world
And he spat out the seven seas--
He batted his eyes, and the lightnings flashed--
He clapped his hands, and the thunders rolled--
And the waters above the earth came down,
The cooling waters came down.
Then the green grass sprouted,
And the little red flowers blossomed,
The pine tree pointed his finger to the sky,
And the oak spread out his arms,
The lakes cuddled down in the hollows of the ground,
And the rivers ran down to the sea;
And God smiled again,
And the rainbow appeared,
And curled itself around his shoulder.
Then God raised his arm and he waved his hand
Over the sea and over the land,
And he said: Bring forth! Bring forth!
And quicker than God could drop his hand,
Fishes and fowls
And beasts and birds
Swam the rivers and the seas,
Roamed the forests and the woods,
And split the air with their wings.
And God said: That's good!
Then God walked around,
And God looked around
On all that he had made.
He looked at his sun,
And he looked at his moon,
And he looked at his little stars;
He looked on his world
With all its living things,
And God said: I'm lonely still.
Then God sat down--
On the side of a hill where he could think;
By a deep, wide river he sat down;
With his head in his hands,
God thought and thought,
Till he thought: I'll make me a man!
Up from the bed of the river
God scooped the clay;
And by the bank of the river
He kneeled him down;
And there the great God Almighty
Who lit the sun and fixed it in the sky,
Who flung the stars to the most far corner of the night,
Who rounded the earth in the middle of his hand;
This great God,
Like a mammy bending over her baby,
Kneeled down in the dust
Toiling over a lump of clay
Till he shaped it in is his own image;
Then into it he blew the breath of life,
And man became a living soul.
Amen.Amen.
And he looked around and said:
I'm lonely--
I'll make me a world.
And far as the eye of God could see
Darkness covered everything,
Blacker than a hundred midnights
Down in a cypress swamp.
Then God smiled,
And the light broke,
And the darkness rolled up on one side,
And the light stood shining on the other,
And God said: That's good!
Then God reached out and took the light in his hands,
And God rolled the light around in his hands
Until he made the sun;
And he set that sun a-blazing in the heavens.
And the light that was left from making the sun
God gathered it up in a shining ball
And flung it against the darkness,
Spangling the night with the moon and stars.
Then down between
The darkness and the light
He hurled the world;
And God said: That's good!
Then God himself stepped down--
And the sun was on his right hand,
And the moon was on his left;
The stars were clustered about his head,
And the earth was under his feet.
And God walked, and where he trod
His footsteps hollowed the valleys out
And bulged the mountains up.
Then he stopped and looked and saw
That the earth was hot and barren.
So God stepped over to the edge of the world
And he spat out the seven seas--
He batted his eyes, and the lightnings flashed--
He clapped his hands, and the thunders rolled--
And the waters above the earth came down,
The cooling waters came down.
Then the green grass sprouted,
And the little red flowers blossomed,
The pine tree pointed his finger to the sky,
And the oak spread out his arms,
The lakes cuddled down in the hollows of the ground,
And the rivers ran down to the sea;
And God smiled again,
And the rainbow appeared,
And curled itself around his shoulder.
Then God raised his arm and he waved his hand
Over the sea and over the land,
And he said: Bring forth! Bring forth!
And quicker than God could drop his hand,
Fishes and fowls
And beasts and birds
Swam the rivers and the seas,
Roamed the forests and the woods,
And split the air with their wings.
And God said: That's good!
Then God walked around,
And God looked around
On all that he had made.
He looked at his sun,
And he looked at his moon,
And he looked at his little stars;
He looked on his world
With all its living things,
And God said: I'm lonely still.
Then God sat down--
On the side of a hill where he could think;
By a deep, wide river he sat down;
With his head in his hands,
God thought and thought,
Till he thought: I'll make me a man!
Up from the bed of the river
God scooped the clay;
And by the bank of the river
He kneeled him down;
And there the great God Almighty
Who lit the sun and fixed it in the sky,
Who flung the stars to the most far corner of the night,
Who rounded the earth in the middle of his hand;
This great God,
Like a mammy bending over her baby,
Kneeled down in the dust
Toiling over a lump of clay
Till he shaped it in is his own image;
Then into it he blew the breath of life,
And man became a living soul.
Amen.Amen.
AIN'T I A WOMAN? by Sojourner Truth
(Delivered 1851 at the Women's Convention in Akron, Ohio)
Well, children, where there is so much racket there must be something out of kilter. I think that 'twixt the negroes of the South and the women at the North, all talking about rights, the white men will be in a fix pretty soon. But what's all this here talking about?
That man over there says that women need to be helped into carriages, and lifted over ditches, and to have the best place everywhere. Nobody ever helps me into carriages, or over mud-puddles, or gives me any best place! And ain't I a woman? Look at me! Look at my arm! I have ploughed and planted, and gathered into barns, and no man could head me! And ain't I a woman? I could work as much and eat as much as a man - when I could get it - and bear the lash as well! And ain't I a woman? I have borne thirteen children, and seen most all sold off to slavery, and when I cried out with my mother's grief, none but Jesus heard me! And ain't I a woman?
Then they talk about this thing in the head; what's this they call it? [member of audience whispers, "intellect"] That's it, honey. What's that got to do with women's rights or negroes' rights? If my cup won't hold but a pint, and yours holds a quart, wouldn't you be mean not to let me have my little half measure full?
Then that little man in black there, he says women can't have as much rights as men, 'cause Christ wasn't a woman! Where did your Christ come from? Where did your Christ come from? From God and a woman! Man had nothing to do with Him.
If the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down all alone, these women together ought to be able to turn it back , and get it right side up again! And now they is asking to do it, the men better let them.
Obliged to you for hearing me, and now old Sojourner ain't got nothing more to say.
Well, children, where there is so much racket there must be something out of kilter. I think that 'twixt the negroes of the South and the women at the North, all talking about rights, the white men will be in a fix pretty soon. But what's all this here talking about?
That man over there says that women need to be helped into carriages, and lifted over ditches, and to have the best place everywhere. Nobody ever helps me into carriages, or over mud-puddles, or gives me any best place! And ain't I a woman? Look at me! Look at my arm! I have ploughed and planted, and gathered into barns, and no man could head me! And ain't I a woman? I could work as much and eat as much as a man - when I could get it - and bear the lash as well! And ain't I a woman? I have borne thirteen children, and seen most all sold off to slavery, and when I cried out with my mother's grief, none but Jesus heard me! And ain't I a woman?
Then they talk about this thing in the head; what's this they call it? [member of audience whispers, "intellect"] That's it, honey. What's that got to do with women's rights or negroes' rights? If my cup won't hold but a pint, and yours holds a quart, wouldn't you be mean not to let me have my little half measure full?
Then that little man in black there, he says women can't have as much rights as men, 'cause Christ wasn't a woman! Where did your Christ come from? Where did your Christ come from? From God and a woman! Man had nothing to do with Him.
If the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down all alone, these women together ought to be able to turn it back , and get it right side up again! And now they is asking to do it, the men better let them.
Obliged to you for hearing me, and now old Sojourner ain't got nothing more to say.
For My People by Margaret Walker
For my people everywhere singing their slave songs repeatedly: their dirges and their ditties and their blues and their jubilees, praying their prayers nightly to an unknown god, bending their knees humbly to an unseen power;
For my people lending their strength to the years, to the gone years and the now years and the maybe years, washing ironing cooking scrubbing sewing mending hoeing plowing digging planting pruning patching dragging along never gaining never reaping never knowing and never understanding.
For my playmates in the clay and dust and sand of Alabama backyards playing and baptizing and preaching and doctor and jail and soldier and school and mama and cooking and playhouse and concert and store and hair and Miss Choomby and company;
For the cramped bewildered years we went to school to learn to know the reasons why and the answers to and the people who and the places where and the days when, in memory of the bitter hours when we discovered we were black and poor and small and different and nobody cared and nobody wondered and nobody understood.
For the boys and girls who grew in spite of these things to be Man and Woman, to laugh and dance and sing and play and drink their wine and religion and success, to marry their playmates and bear children and then die of consumption and anemia and lynching;
For my people thronging 47th Street in Chicago and Lenox Avenue in New York and Rampart Street in New Orleans, lost disinherited dispossessed and happy people filling the cabarets and taverns and other people's pockets needing bread and shoes and milk and land and money and something—something all our own;
For my people walking blindly spreading joy, losing time being lazy, sleeping when hungry, shouting when burdened, drinking when hopeless, tied and shackled and tangled among ourselves by the unseen creatures who tower over us omnisciently and laugh;
For my people blundering and groping and floundering in the dark of churches and schools and clubs and societies, associations and councils and committees and conventions, distressed and disturbed and deceived and devoured by money-hungry glory-craving leeches, preyed on by facile force of state and fad and novelty, by false prophet and holy believer.
For my people standing staring trying to fashion a better way from confusion, from hypocrisy and misunderstanding, trying to fashion a world that will hold all the people, all the face, all the adams and eves and their countless generations;
Let a new earth rise. Let another world be born. Let a bloody peace be written in the sky. Let a second generation full of courage issue forth; let a people loving freedom come to growth. Let a beauty full of healing and a strength of final clenching be the pulsing in our spirit and our blood. Let the martial songs be written, let the dirges disappear. Let a race of men now rise and take control.
For my people lending their strength to the years, to the gone years and the now years and the maybe years, washing ironing cooking scrubbing sewing mending hoeing plowing digging planting pruning patching dragging along never gaining never reaping never knowing and never understanding.
For my playmates in the clay and dust and sand of Alabama backyards playing and baptizing and preaching and doctor and jail and soldier and school and mama and cooking and playhouse and concert and store and hair and Miss Choomby and company;
For the cramped bewildered years we went to school to learn to know the reasons why and the answers to and the people who and the places where and the days when, in memory of the bitter hours when we discovered we were black and poor and small and different and nobody cared and nobody wondered and nobody understood.
For the boys and girls who grew in spite of these things to be Man and Woman, to laugh and dance and sing and play and drink their wine and religion and success, to marry their playmates and bear children and then die of consumption and anemia and lynching;
For my people thronging 47th Street in Chicago and Lenox Avenue in New York and Rampart Street in New Orleans, lost disinherited dispossessed and happy people filling the cabarets and taverns and other people's pockets needing bread and shoes and milk and land and money and something—something all our own;
For my people walking blindly spreading joy, losing time being lazy, sleeping when hungry, shouting when burdened, drinking when hopeless, tied and shackled and tangled among ourselves by the unseen creatures who tower over us omnisciently and laugh;
For my people blundering and groping and floundering in the dark of churches and schools and clubs and societies, associations and councils and committees and conventions, distressed and disturbed and deceived and devoured by money-hungry glory-craving leeches, preyed on by facile force of state and fad and novelty, by false prophet and holy believer.
For my people standing staring trying to fashion a better way from confusion, from hypocrisy and misunderstanding, trying to fashion a world that will hold all the people, all the face, all the adams and eves and their countless generations;
Let a new earth rise. Let another world be born. Let a bloody peace be written in the sky. Let a second generation full of courage issue forth; let a people loving freedom come to growth. Let a beauty full of healing and a strength of final clenching be the pulsing in our spirit and our blood. Let the martial songs be written, let the dirges disappear. Let a race of men now rise and take control.
Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Friendly Quote
"Treat people the way "they" want to be treated; not the way "you" want to be treated". - Tiffany Willis-Gilmore
I, Too, Sing America by Langston Hughes
I, too, sing America.
I am the darker brother.
They send me to eat in the kitchen
When company comes,
But I laugh,
And eat well,
And grow strong.
Tomorrow,
I'll be at the table
When company comes.
Nobody'll dare
Say to me,
"Eat in the kitchen,"
Then.
Besides,
They'll see how beautiful I am
And be ashamed--
I, too, am America.
I am the darker brother.
They send me to eat in the kitchen
When company comes,
But I laugh,
And eat well,
And grow strong.
Tomorrow,
I'll be at the table
When company comes.
Nobody'll dare
Say to me,
"Eat in the kitchen,"
Then.
Besides,
They'll see how beautiful I am
And be ashamed--
I, too, am America.
Bearing Each Other's Burden by Charles Stanley
(Scripture: Galatians 6:1-5)
Introduction: Do you feel that sharing your burdens—your heartache, trouble or pain—with someone else is a sign of weakness? Oftentimes, we carry things God never intends for us to carry, and we bear burdens God never intends for us to bear alone. In this message we’ll talk about how to bear each other’s burdens.
Review from “Letting God Handle Your Burdens.”
"Burden" defined: A burden is a heaviness of the heart, spirit and soul—something that weighs us down emotionally, mentally of spiritually.
There are two types of burdens we face:
1. Burdens given by God
2. Burdens of Life
The Church should be a safe place to share our burdens. How do we go about bearing each other’s burdens?
1. Take the appropriate action: Get involved
Becoming involved with the lives of others places us in a position to know how to best help them.
2. Have the right purpose in mind: Restoration
In bearing another’s burdens, having the right purpose means working to restore that person’s emotional, spiritual, mental or physical health.
3. Have the right motive: Love
John 13:34 tells us the right motive is love: “A new commandment I give to you, that you love on another, even as I have loved you, that you love one another.”
1 Peter 4:8 – “Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.”
4. Have the right attitude: Gentleness
We must have an attitude and approach of gentleness when bearing each other’s burdens. A gentle person is one who is patient, caring, loving, kind, forgiving and accepting.
Closing: Are you ready? Are you available? Is your life the kind of life God could use you to restore those suffering around you to a sense of acceptance and personhood? He wants us to be that kind of person, and that’s a decision you have to make.
Introduction: Do you feel that sharing your burdens—your heartache, trouble or pain—with someone else is a sign of weakness? Oftentimes, we carry things God never intends for us to carry, and we bear burdens God never intends for us to bear alone. In this message we’ll talk about how to bear each other’s burdens.
Review from “Letting God Handle Your Burdens.”
"Burden" defined: A burden is a heaviness of the heart, spirit and soul—something that weighs us down emotionally, mentally of spiritually.
There are two types of burdens we face:
1. Burdens given by God
2. Burdens of Life
The Church should be a safe place to share our burdens. How do we go about bearing each other’s burdens?
1. Take the appropriate action: Get involved
Becoming involved with the lives of others places us in a position to know how to best help them.
2. Have the right purpose in mind: Restoration
In bearing another’s burdens, having the right purpose means working to restore that person’s emotional, spiritual, mental or physical health.
3. Have the right motive: Love
John 13:34 tells us the right motive is love: “A new commandment I give to you, that you love on another, even as I have loved you, that you love one another.”
1 Peter 4:8 – “Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.”
4. Have the right attitude: Gentleness
We must have an attitude and approach of gentleness when bearing each other’s burdens. A gentle person is one who is patient, caring, loving, kind, forgiving and accepting.
Closing: Are you ready? Are you available? Is your life the kind of life God could use you to restore those suffering around you to a sense of acceptance and personhood? He wants us to be that kind of person, and that’s a decision you have to make.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Lost Without You by Robin Thicke
I just love this song and wanted to share the lyrics.
Tell me how u love me more
And how u think Im sexy baby
That u dont want nobody else
U dont want this guy u dont want that guy u wanna
Touch yourself when u see me
Tell me how u love my body
And how I make u feel baby
U wanna roll with me u wanna hold with me
U wanna stay warm and get out of the cold with me
I just love 2 hear u say it
It makes a man feel good baby
Tell me u depend on me
I need 2 hear it
Im lost without u
Cant help myself
How does it feel
2 know that I love u baby
Baby youre the perfect shape
Baby youre the perfect weight
Treat me like my birthday
I want it this way I want it that way I want it
Tell me u dont want me 2 stop
Tell me it would break your heart
That u love me and all my dirty
U wanna roll with me u wanna hold with me
U wanna make fires and get Norwegian wood with me
I just love 2 hear u say it
It makes a man feel good baby
Im lost without u
Cant help myself
How does it feel
2 know that I love u baby
Tell me how u love me more
And how u think Im sexy baby
That u dont want nobody else
U dont want this guy u dont want that guy u wanna
Touch yourself when u see me
Tell me how u love my body
And how I make u feel baby
U wanna roll with me u wanna hold with me
U wanna stay warm and get out of the cold with me
I just love 2 hear u say it
It makes a man feel good baby
Tell me u depend on me
I need 2 hear it
Im lost without u
Cant help myself
How does it feel
2 know that I love u baby
Baby youre the perfect shape
Baby youre the perfect weight
Treat me like my birthday
I want it this way I want it that way I want it
Tell me u dont want me 2 stop
Tell me it would break your heart
That u love me and all my dirty
U wanna roll with me u wanna hold with me
U wanna make fires and get Norwegian wood with me
I just love 2 hear u say it
It makes a man feel good baby
Im lost without u
Cant help myself
How does it feel
2 know that I love u baby
One Minute Prayer
>You never know when God is going to bless you!! Good
> >things happen when you least expect them to !!!!!!!!
> >>
> >Dear Lord, I thank You for this day. I thank You for
> >my being able to see and to hear this morning. I'm
> >blessed because You are a forgiving God and an
> >understanding God. You have done so much for me and
> >You keep on blessing me. Forgive me this day for
> >everything I have done, said or thought that was not
> >pleasing to you.
>
> >I ask now for Your forgiveness. Please keep me safe
> >from all danger and harm. Help me to start this day
> >with a new attitude and plenty of gratitude. Let me
> >make the best of each and every day to clear my mind
> >so that I can hear from You. Please broaden my mind
> >that I can accept all things. Let me not whine and
> >whimper over things I have no control over.
> >And It's the best response when I'm pushed beyond my
> >limits.
> >I know that when I can't pray, You listen to my heart.
> >Continue to use me to do Your will. Continue to bless
> >me that I may be a blessing to others. Keep me strong
> >that I may help the weak... Keep me uplifted that I
> >may have words of encouragement for others. I pray for
> >those that are lost and can't find their way. I pray
> >for those that are misjudged and misunderstood. I pray
> >for those who don't know You intimately. I pray for
> >those that will delete this without sharing it with
> >others. I pray for those that don't believe.
>
> >But I thank you that I believe. I believe that God
> >changes people and God changes things. I pray for all
> >my sisters and brothers. For each and every family
> >member in their households. I pray for peace, love and
> >joy in their homes that they are out of debt and all
> >their needs are met. I pray that every eye that reads
> >this knows there is no problem, circumstance, or
> >situation greater than God. Every battle is in Your
> >hands for You to fight.
> >I pray that these words be received into the hearts of
> >every eye that sees it.
>
> >If you prayed this prayer, change the number in the
> >subject box before
> >forwarding the message so people can See how many
> >people have done so. God Bless!!!!!!!!!!! Just repeat
> >this phrase and see how God moves!!
>
> >God,
> >I love you and I need you, come into my heart, please.
> >things happen when you least expect them to !!!!!!!!
> >>
> >Dear Lord, I thank You for this day. I thank You for
> >my being able to see and to hear this morning. I'm
> >blessed because You are a forgiving God and an
> >understanding God. You have done so much for me and
> >You keep on blessing me. Forgive me this day for
> >everything I have done, said or thought that was not
> >pleasing to you.
>
> >I ask now for Your forgiveness. Please keep me safe
> >from all danger and harm. Help me to start this day
> >with a new attitude and plenty of gratitude. Let me
> >make the best of each and every day to clear my mind
> >so that I can hear from You. Please broaden my mind
> >that I can accept all things. Let me not whine and
> >whimper over things I have no control over.
> >And It's the best response when I'm pushed beyond my
> >limits.
> >I know that when I can't pray, You listen to my heart.
> >Continue to use me to do Your will. Continue to bless
> >me that I may be a blessing to others. Keep me strong
> >that I may help the weak... Keep me uplifted that I
> >may have words of encouragement for others. I pray for
> >those that are lost and can't find their way. I pray
> >for those that are misjudged and misunderstood. I pray
> >for those who don't know You intimately. I pray for
> >those that will delete this without sharing it with
> >others. I pray for those that don't believe.
>
> >But I thank you that I believe. I believe that God
> >changes people and God changes things. I pray for all
> >my sisters and brothers. For each and every family
> >member in their households. I pray for peace, love and
> >joy in their homes that they are out of debt and all
> >their needs are met. I pray that every eye that reads
> >this knows there is no problem, circumstance, or
> >situation greater than God. Every battle is in Your
> >hands for You to fight.
> >I pray that these words be received into the hearts of
> >every eye that sees it.
>
> >If you prayed this prayer, change the number in the
> >subject box before
> >forwarding the message so people can See how many
> >people have done so. God Bless!!!!!!!!!!! Just repeat
> >this phrase and see how God moves!!
>
> >God,
> >I love you and I need you, come into my heart, please.
Prayer for Virginia Tech
Father, right now we acknowledge You & we acknowledge Your presence & Your sovereignty. Father we lift up Virginia Tech & the people affected by the evil that has taken place on the campus. We pray that Your Spirit be with them. We pray that Your loving arms be wrapped around them & comfort them in this tragic time. We pray for families, neighbors, & friends. We pray for staff, professors, & administrators. God, we pray for people. We pray for humanity. We pray that this event will not cause people to turn from You but it will cause a nation to run to You like they have never run before.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Monday, April 9, 2007
Don't Quit by Quinton Howell
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest, you must - but don't you quit
Life is queer with its twists and turns
As everyone of us sometimes learns
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out
Don't give up, though the pace seems slow
You might succeed with another blow
Success is failure turned inside out, the silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are, It may be near when it seems so far
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit
It's when things seem worst, that you MUST NOT QUIT!
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest, you must - but don't you quit
Life is queer with its twists and turns
As everyone of us sometimes learns
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out
Don't give up, though the pace seems slow
You might succeed with another blow
Success is failure turned inside out, the silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are, It may be near when it seems so far
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit
It's when things seem worst, that you MUST NOT QUIT!
Excuses (Author Unknown)
Excuses are tools of incompetence
that build monuments of nothingness
and those that insist upon using them
are seldom good at anything else.
that build monuments of nothingness
and those that insist upon using them
are seldom good at anything else.
God has a positive answer - You Say, God Says
I was sent this very inspiring email and wanted to share its contents:
You say: "It's impossible"
God says: All things are possible
(Luke 18:27)
You say: "I'm too tired"
God says: I will give you rest
(Matthew 11:28-30)
You say: "Nobody really loves me"
God says: I love you
(John 3:1 6 & John 3:34 )
You say: "I can't go on"
God says: My grace is sufficient
(II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)
You say: "I can't figure things out"
God says: I will direct your steps
(Proverbs 3:5- 6)
You say: "I can't do it"
God says: You can do all things
(Philippians 4:13)
You say: "I'm not able"
God says: I am able
(II Corinthians 9:8)
You say: "It's not worth it"
God says: It will be worth it
(Roman 8:28 )
You say: "I can't forgive myself"
God says: I Forgive you
(I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)
You say: "I can't manage"
God says: I will supply all your needs
(Philippians 4:19)
You say: "I'm afraid"
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear
(II Timothy 1:7)
You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated"
God says: Cast all your cares on ME
(I Peter 5:7)
You say: "I'm not smart enough"
God says: I give you wisdom
(I Corinthians 1:30)
You say: "I feel all alone"
God says: I will never leave you or forsake you
(Hebrews 13:5)
You say: "It's impossible"
God says: All things are possible
(Luke 18:27)
You say: "I'm too tired"
God says: I will give you rest
(Matthew 11:28-30)
You say: "Nobody really loves me"
God says: I love you
(John 3:1 6 & John 3:34 )
You say: "I can't go on"
God says: My grace is sufficient
(II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)
You say: "I can't figure things out"
God says: I will direct your steps
(Proverbs 3:5- 6)
You say: "I can't do it"
God says: You can do all things
(Philippians 4:13)
You say: "I'm not able"
God says: I am able
(II Corinthians 9:8)
You say: "It's not worth it"
God says: It will be worth it
(Roman 8:28 )
You say: "I can't forgive myself"
God says: I Forgive you
(I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)
You say: "I can't manage"
God says: I will supply all your needs
(Philippians 4:19)
You say: "I'm afraid"
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear
(II Timothy 1:7)
You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated"
God says: Cast all your cares on ME
(I Peter 5:7)
You say: "I'm not smart enough"
God says: I give you wisdom
(I Corinthians 1:30)
You say: "I feel all alone"
God says: I will never leave you or forsake you
(Hebrews 13:5)
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
DID YOU LET HIM LEAVE HIS BAGS? (Author Unknown)
YOU PUT THE DEVIL OUT, BUT DID YOU LET HIM LEAVE HIS BAGS?
You got out of a bad relationship because it was bad, but you are still resentful and angry (you let the devil leave his bags). You got out of financial debt, but you still can't control the desire to spend on frivolous things (you let the devil leave his bags). You got out of a bad habit or addiction, but you still long to try it just one more time (you let the devil leave his bags). You said, I forgive you, but you can't seem to forget and have peace with that person (you let the devil leave his bags). You told your unequally yoked mate that it was over, but you still continue to call (you let the devil leave his bags). You got out of that horribly oppressive job, but you are still trying to sabotage the company after you've left (you let the devil leave his bags). You cut off the affair with that married man/woman, but you still lust after him/her (you let the devil leave his bags). You broke off your relationship with that hurtful, abusive person, but you are suspicious and distrusting of every new person you meet (you let the devil leave his bags). You decided to let go of the past hurts from growing up in an unstable environment, yet you believe you are unworthy of love from others and you refuse to get attached to anyone (you let the devil leave his bags). When you put the devil out, please make sure he takes his bags!
HAPPINESS KEEPS YOU SWEET
TRIALS KEEP YOU STRONG
AND SORROWS KEEP YOU HUMAN
FAILURES KEEP YOU HUMBLE
SUCCESS KEEPS YOU GLOWING
BUT ONLY GOD KEEPS YOU GOING!
Today and every day, Let the Devil Take His Bags With Him! Be Blessed, Healthy and Happy!
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
Let It Go for 2007 (Author Unknown)
There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone. When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19] People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. Let them go. And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay. Let them go!! If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to......LET IT GO!!! If you are holding on to past hurts and pains .......LET IT GO!!! If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth.....LET IT GO!!! If someone has angered you ........LET IT GO!!! If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge......LET IT GO!!! If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction.....LET IT GO!!! If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents...LET IT GO!!! If you have a bad attitude.......LET IT GO!!! If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......LET IT GO!!! If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him......LET IT GO!!!If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship.........LET IT GO!!! If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves.....LET IT GO!!! If you're feeling depressed and stressed ..........LET IT GO!!! If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to......LET IT GO!!! Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing for 2007 !!! LET IT GO!!! Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then ...LET IT GO!!! "The Battle is the Lord's!"
The Road to Success
Philippians 4:13 --- I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me
> The road to success is not straight.
> The road to success is not straight.
There is a curve called Failure, a loop called Confusion,
speed bumps called Friends, red lights called Enemies,
caution lights called Family. You will have flats called Jobs.
But, if you have a spare called Determination,
an engine called Perseverance, insurance called Faith,
> a driver called Jesus, and you will make it to a place called Success.
>
> a driver called Jesus, and you will make it to a place called Success.
>
Sunday, April 1, 2007
Common Denominator
I realize and understand
that everything that happens
to me, with me and through me
happens for a reason
The good and bad
choices that I make in my life
are indicative of my
perception
of my experiences and exposure
when and if I make bad decisions
with other people
the only thing that is
the same in each case
is me
I have
the ability to change
and to change things
that everything that happens
to me, with me and through me
happens for a reason
The good and bad
choices that I make in my life
are indicative of my
perception
of my experiences and exposure
when and if I make bad decisions
with other people
the only thing that is
the same in each case
is me
I have
the ability to change
and to change things
"Will Work for Food"
Some years ago, I pulled off I-95 in Miami, Florida just to find a man standing there with a "Will Work for Food" sign made of cardboard. The sign holder definitely appeared to need somethings (i.e., shower, new clothes, hair cut and etc.). However, I came up with this very unique idea about how I could rush home and pack him some of the groceries that I purchased rather than give him the $10 that I had in my ash tray. So, off I went in record-breaking time to my lovely Miami Lakes suite. I filled a large bag with fruits, snacks, water, sandwiches and anything else I could find. I returned back to the location just to find, the man had left. I felt absolutely horrible. I let my selfishness stand in the way of me being a blessing to someone else!
I quickly delivered the bag to my friend, Jackson at the campus of FMC. I urged him to give it to someone in need; he knew just the person. I zoomed off to my volunteer post at the hospital. I arrived at the exit (once again off I-95) just to find another man standing with a "Will Work for Food" sign. I motioned for the guy to approach the car. I shoved the $10 at him and told him to "have a blessed day"! He stood there in total disbelief asking, "ma'am, are you sure you want to give me this?" and I replied, "yes, please go" as cars were honking at me.
I then reflected on what one of my mentorees, Jose had told me. He said that he always gives the homeless money because he never knows in what form Jesus will return. He said, "Tiffany, he could look like anyone and I don't want to miss my blessing".
I'm sharing this with you because I don't want any of us to miss our blessing. Be blessed.
I quickly delivered the bag to my friend, Jackson at the campus of FMC. I urged him to give it to someone in need; he knew just the person. I zoomed off to my volunteer post at the hospital. I arrived at the exit (once again off I-95) just to find another man standing with a "Will Work for Food" sign. I motioned for the guy to approach the car. I shoved the $10 at him and told him to "have a blessed day"! He stood there in total disbelief asking, "ma'am, are you sure you want to give me this?" and I replied, "yes, please go" as cars were honking at me.
I then reflected on what one of my mentorees, Jose had told me. He said that he always gives the homeless money because he never knows in what form Jesus will return. He said, "Tiffany, he could look like anyone and I don't want to miss my blessing".
I'm sharing this with you because I don't want any of us to miss our blessing. Be blessed.
Highly Recommended, the movie, "Pride"
Bravo to the makers of the movie "Pride"! This true story of a swimming coach taking a group of inner city kids to the state championships was set in Philadelphia in the 1970s. The PDR (pride, determination and resilience) of the main character, Jim Ellis (played by Terrence Howard) was just what the doctor ordered. The casting, costumes and chemistry of these great actors which included: Kimberly Elise, Bernie Mac and Tom Arnold engulfed you in such a way that you forget you are watching a movie. The movie goers cheers were so heartfelt that you'd think they were at the actual swim meets. The movie sent chills of inspiration down my spine. I felt obligated to spread the word thereby calling close friends/family as I was leaving the cinema to let them know this is a "must see, asap movie" (a term I coined just for this movie).
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Salute to my Line Sisters - AKA
April 1st, 1990 was my cross over date for Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. Our line was known as the "Troublesome Twenty-Five" of Delta Eta Chapter. Our DP (Dean of Pledges) was Joyce Walters of St. Thomas, Virgin Islands. Our line was the "last official pledge" line. The individuals on line were perfect ladies all with GPA's (grade point averages) of 3.50 or better. My line name was Alpha Sniffles. My number on line was #3. Hats off to my audacious sorors of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc.
AKA's of Delta Eta Chapter - Florida Memorial University Homecoming (February 2007).
About Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc.
Founded on the campus of Howard University in Washington, DC in 1908, Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority is the oldest Greek-letter organization established by and for African American college-trained women. To trace its history is to tell a story of changing patterns of human relations in America in the 20th century.
Founders:
The Original Group: Anna Easter Brown, Beulah Burke, Lillie Burke, Marjorie Hill, Margaret Flagg Holmes, Ethel Hedgeman Lyle, Lavinia Norman, Lucy Slowe and Marie Woolfolk Taylor
Led by Ethel Hedgeman Lyle, the nine Howard University students who came together to form Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority were the scholastic leaders of their classes. Each also had a special talent or gift that further enhanced the potential of this dynamic group.
The Sophomores: Norma Boyd, Ethel Jones Mowbray, Alice Murray, Sarah Meriweather Nutter, Joanna Berry Shields, Carrie Snowden and Harriett Terry.
With the exception of Ethel, the original group of women was comprised of college seniors. To ensure the continuity of the organization, seven Class of 1910 honor students who had expressed interest were invited to join without initiation.
The Incorporators: Norma Boyd, Julia Brooks, Ethel Jones Mowbray, Nellie Quander, Nellie Pratt Russell and Minnie Smith.
Nellie Quander was elected president in 1911. Under her visionary leadership, Alpha Kappa Alpha initiated a dynamic plan of expansion. The first step of establishing a national body in perpetuity was taken in 1913 when Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority was legally incorporated. (Taken from the AKA website located at http://www.aka1906.com/).
HBCU of the Month - Florida Memorial University
This is my alma mater!!!
Each month the Tom Joyner Foundation selects a specific HBCU to focus our funding raising efforts towards. During the month of March 2007, Florida Memorial University is the HBCUs of the Month. We encourage individuals, groups, organizations and alumnae of Florida Memorial University, to join us in our effort to support institutions of higher learning. Contributing to Florida Memorial University for the Tom Joyner Foundation is easy. You can mail a check or money order to:The Tom Joyner Foundation P.O. Box 630495; Irving, TX 75063 (taken from blackamericaweb.com)
ABOUT FMU:
The University traces its origins back to 1879, to the Florida Baptist Institute in Live Oak, Florida, and to the Florida Baptist Academy, founded in Jacksonville in 1892. Decades later, after a relocation to St. Augustine, a merger of the two schools, several name changes, and expansion to a four-year academic program, the institution’s charter was amended, and the name Florida Memorial College was adopted in 1963. The College relocated to Miami, Florida, its permanent home, in 1968, and is the only historically Black college in the southern region of the state. In December 2004, again, the institution’s charter was amended, and the name Florida Memorial University was adopted.
1. Current President: Dr. Karl S. Wright
2. Size of present campus site: 56.7 Acres
3. Current assets include 350 acre site in St. Augustine, Florida as of 6/30/05: $45,968,000
4. Amount of current annual budget: $64,021,623
5. Size of endowment: $9,489,961 as of June 30, 2005
6. Cost of tuition, room, board and fees to attend Florida Memorial University for one (1) full academic year (Fall and Spring Semester): $17,594 as of 7/01/06.
7. Status of annual audits for past seventeen (17) years: Unqualified
8. Fall 2005 student headcount: 1947
9. Geographical distribution of students:
· Percentage from in state: 80.7%
· Percentage from out of state: 11.5%
· Percentage that are of international origin: 7.8%
10. Number of full time employees: 310
11. Number of full time faculty: 114
12. Percentage of full time faculty who hold the Ph.D. or terminal degree: 75%
13. Accreditation:
· Regional: Commission on Colleges- Southern Association of Colleges and Schools
· Professional: Association of Collegiate Business Schools and Programs
· Professional: National Council For Accreditation of Teacher Education
14. Number of undergraduate Degree programs: 41
Number of graduate degree Programs: 4
15. Ranked second in the State and ninth in the Nation for graduating African-American Teachers.
1. Current President: Dr. Karl S. Wright
2. Size of present campus site: 56.7 Acres
3. Current assets include 350 acre site in St. Augustine, Florida as of 6/30/05: $45,968,000
4. Amount of current annual budget: $64,021,623
5. Size of endowment: $9,489,961 as of June 30, 2005
6. Cost of tuition, room, board and fees to attend Florida Memorial University for one (1) full academic year (Fall and Spring Semester): $17,594 as of 7/01/06.
7. Status of annual audits for past seventeen (17) years: Unqualified
8. Fall 2005 student headcount: 1947
9. Geographical distribution of students:
· Percentage from in state: 80.7%
· Percentage from out of state: 11.5%
· Percentage that are of international origin: 7.8%
10. Number of full time employees: 310
11. Number of full time faculty: 114
12. Percentage of full time faculty who hold the Ph.D. or terminal degree: 75%
13. Accreditation:
· Regional: Commission on Colleges- Southern Association of Colleges and Schools
· Professional: Association of Collegiate Business Schools and Programs
· Professional: National Council For Accreditation of Teacher Education
14. Number of undergraduate Degree programs: 41
Number of graduate degree Programs: 4
15. Ranked second in the State and ninth in the Nation for graduating African-American Teachers.
For More Info visit: www.fmuniv.edu
INVICTUS (Taking Responsibility for One's Destiny)
by William Ernest Henley; 1849-1903
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul.
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul.
Lift Ev'ry Voice and Sing
Lift Ev'ry Voice and Sing — often called "The Black National Anthem" — was written as a poem by James Weldon Johnson (1871-1938) and then set to music by his brother John Rosamond Johnson (1873-1954) in 1900. It was first performed in public in the Johnsons' hometown of Jacksonville, Florida as part of a celebration of Lincoln's Birthday on February 12, 1900 by a choir of 500 schoolchildren at the segregated Stanton School, where James Weldon Johnson was principal.
Lift ev'ry voice and sing,
'Til earth and heaven ring,
Ring with the harmonies of Liberty;
Let our rejoicing rise
High as the list'ning skies,
Let it resound loud as the rolling sea.
Sing a song full of the faith that the dark past has taught us,
Sing a song full of the hope that the present has brought us;
Facing the rising sun of our new day begun,
Let us march on 'til victory is won.
Stony the road we trod,
Bitter the chastening rod,
Felt in the days when hope unborn had died;
Yet with a steady beat,
Have not our weary feet
Come to the place for which our fathers sighed?
We have come over a way that with tears has been watered,
We have come, treading our path through the blood of the slaughtered,
Out from the gloomy past,
'Til now we stand at last
Where the white gleam of our bright star is cast.
God of our weary years,
God of our silent tears,
Thou who has brought us thus far on the way;
Thou who has by Thy might
Led us into the light,
Keep us forever in the path, we pray.
Lest our feet stray from the places, our God, where we met Thee,
Lest, our hearts drunk with the wine of the world, we forget Thee;
Shadowed beneath Thy hand,
May we forever stand,
True to our God,
True to our native land.
(From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)
Lift ev'ry voice and sing,
'Til earth and heaven ring,
Ring with the harmonies of Liberty;
Let our rejoicing rise
High as the list'ning skies,
Let it resound loud as the rolling sea.
Sing a song full of the faith that the dark past has taught us,
Sing a song full of the hope that the present has brought us;
Facing the rising sun of our new day begun,
Let us march on 'til victory is won.
Stony the road we trod,
Bitter the chastening rod,
Felt in the days when hope unborn had died;
Yet with a steady beat,
Have not our weary feet
Come to the place for which our fathers sighed?
We have come over a way that with tears has been watered,
We have come, treading our path through the blood of the slaughtered,
Out from the gloomy past,
'Til now we stand at last
Where the white gleam of our bright star is cast.
God of our weary years,
God of our silent tears,
Thou who has brought us thus far on the way;
Thou who has by Thy might
Led us into the light,
Keep us forever in the path, we pray.
Lest our feet stray from the places, our God, where we met Thee,
Lest, our hearts drunk with the wine of the world, we forget Thee;
Shadowed beneath Thy hand,
May we forever stand,
True to our God,
True to our native land.
(From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)
Monday, March 26, 2007
From "Motivator" to "Dream Builder"
It has been several years since my brother, Jason informed me that Les Brown, "The Motivator" had just called the house for my mentor. I was both elated and disappointed at the same time. How is that I kept missing the call?
I gave my brother the run down about how my Aunt Sylvia had given me a "boot leg" copy of one of his speeches on cassette some years ago. I emphasized how intrigued I was with his story and his passion. I spoke of how I was determined to one day meet him and how residing in my mentor's home in Miami Lakes, Florida had put me closer than ever.
Finally, I answered his call! As I was taking the message, I realized that I must seize the opportunity for a formal introduction. However, I noticed he didn't have on his enthusiastic voice. He confided in me that he was having the best day. This was my chance, I started fast talking him with all of the inspiration I could. I started with, "Well, Mr. Brown, you know motivation comes from within..." and from that point on, I let him have it! I could hear the enthusiasm in his voice. My prayer to inspire others had been heard by God Almighty! Les Brown then asked me where was I headed. I informed him that we were on our way to West Palm Beach. He shouted, "You must come see me, I'm at the Breakers hotel! " I confirmed that we'd be there asap.
Once we got to the luxurious, ocean front hotel, I realized that I didn't have his room number. The front desk staff insisted that they couldn't reveal his room number. I was so adament about meeting him that an employee secretly showed me to Mr. Brown's room on the mezzanine level. I fervently knocked for about twenty-five minutes until Les Brown opened the door. I remember him looking as if he'd just awakened (with matted hair and all). He was dressed very casual. He put on a huge smile as he exclaimed, "you must be Tiffany!" He then reached out, gave me a hearty huge and welcomed us into his suite...
It was at that time, that the man known as "The Motivator" had inspired me to dedicate my life to becoming a "Dream Builder". It was at that moment, that I knew, if he could do it - I could too!!!
I gave my brother the run down about how my Aunt Sylvia had given me a "boot leg" copy of one of his speeches on cassette some years ago. I emphasized how intrigued I was with his story and his passion. I spoke of how I was determined to one day meet him and how residing in my mentor's home in Miami Lakes, Florida had put me closer than ever.
Finally, I answered his call! As I was taking the message, I realized that I must seize the opportunity for a formal introduction. However, I noticed he didn't have on his enthusiastic voice. He confided in me that he was having the best day. This was my chance, I started fast talking him with all of the inspiration I could. I started with, "Well, Mr. Brown, you know motivation comes from within..." and from that point on, I let him have it! I could hear the enthusiasm in his voice. My prayer to inspire others had been heard by God Almighty! Les Brown then asked me where was I headed. I informed him that we were on our way to West Palm Beach. He shouted, "You must come see me, I'm at the Breakers hotel! " I confirmed that we'd be there asap.
Once we got to the luxurious, ocean front hotel, I realized that I didn't have his room number. The front desk staff insisted that they couldn't reveal his room number. I was so adament about meeting him that an employee secretly showed me to Mr. Brown's room on the mezzanine level. I fervently knocked for about twenty-five minutes until Les Brown opened the door. I remember him looking as if he'd just awakened (with matted hair and all). He was dressed very casual. He put on a huge smile as he exclaimed, "you must be Tiffany!" He then reached out, gave me a hearty huge and welcomed us into his suite...
It was at that time, that the man known as "The Motivator" had inspired me to dedicate my life to becoming a "Dream Builder". It was at that moment, that I knew, if he could do it - I could too!!!
More Than Friends
You touch me in a special way
with your "hellos" and "goodbyes"
and "I'll call you laters"
You make me smile
and weep
and wonder
and pray
and wish
and hope
You give me strength
and build me up
and you fill me
You hold me tight
and lovingly
and long
and convincingly
You make me want you
today and tomorrow
and forever
You let us stand
together
as equals
You hook me up
with knowledge
and power
and strength
You embrace me
with your sharing
and caring
and gentleness
You give me a music
and a tune
all my own
You complete me
in a way that I've
always wanted
You hear me
and listen
and recall
You check me
and let me know when I'm
wrong
You are a friend
unconditionally and
inspirationally
from now 'til eternity
with your "hellos" and "goodbyes"
and "I'll call you laters"
You make me smile
and weep
and wonder
and pray
and wish
and hope
You give me strength
and build me up
and you fill me
You hold me tight
and lovingly
and long
and convincingly
You make me want you
today and tomorrow
and forever
You let us stand
together
as equals
You hook me up
with knowledge
and power
and strength
You embrace me
with your sharing
and caring
and gentleness
You give me a music
and a tune
all my own
You complete me
in a way that I've
always wanted
You hear me
and listen
and recall
You check me
and let me know when I'm
wrong
You are a friend
unconditionally and
inspirationally
from now 'til eternity
My Sentiments Exactly...
Here is an excerpt from My Sentiments Exactly - One Hundred Positive Thoughts
1) Love is like cutlery; it is always sharper in the beginning.
2) Handling problems is like bench pressing; sometimes you have to exert a little more energy.
3) Life is like a box of chocolates – you pick, you chew and the after taste is always a surprise.
4) Relationships are like amusement parks, every so many months there needs to be a new major attraction.
5) Men are like puzzles; they are difficult to put together and don’t always have all the pieces.
6) You really never have bad days; just sometimes your lens is out of focus.
7) When in doubt, pray, and then stick it out.
8) Bad days are really “good days” in disguise.
9) Destiny is not haphazard, it is intentional.
10) Forgiveness is like a blossoming rose, it opens up to an intriguing fragrance.
11) No one likes being bullied and it shouldn’t become commonplace.
12) Heartfelt gestures are like treasures and people cherish them like gold.
13) Perspiration and desperation are both easy to detect.
14) Matchmaking is like pottery; it’s an art.
15) People can change for the better or worse, just know that they will change.
16) Relationships can resemble jumping rope; you may be hesitant to jump in.
17) If your body is your temple then it should be rock solid.
18) Life is like driving in the mountains - there will be twists, turns and breathtaking experiences.
19) Your life’s purpose it the most purposeful thing in your life.
20) Select your path, ride it out, go fast, go slow and make some U turns.
1) Love is like cutlery; it is always sharper in the beginning.
2) Handling problems is like bench pressing; sometimes you have to exert a little more energy.
3) Life is like a box of chocolates – you pick, you chew and the after taste is always a surprise.
4) Relationships are like amusement parks, every so many months there needs to be a new major attraction.
5) Men are like puzzles; they are difficult to put together and don’t always have all the pieces.
6) You really never have bad days; just sometimes your lens is out of focus.
7) When in doubt, pray, and then stick it out.
8) Bad days are really “good days” in disguise.
9) Destiny is not haphazard, it is intentional.
10) Forgiveness is like a blossoming rose, it opens up to an intriguing fragrance.
11) No one likes being bullied and it shouldn’t become commonplace.
12) Heartfelt gestures are like treasures and people cherish them like gold.
13) Perspiration and desperation are both easy to detect.
14) Matchmaking is like pottery; it’s an art.
15) People can change for the better or worse, just know that they will change.
16) Relationships can resemble jumping rope; you may be hesitant to jump in.
17) If your body is your temple then it should be rock solid.
18) Life is like driving in the mountains - there will be twists, turns and breathtaking experiences.
19) Your life’s purpose it the most purposeful thing in your life.
20) Select your path, ride it out, go fast, go slow and make some U turns.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
I was tagged!
I was recently tagged by DC Marbury at http://dc1speaks.blogspot.com/
My answers are as follows:
********************I tag PFStew!
My answers are as follows:
What main lesson have you learned in the month of February?
Life is the most precious of all God's gifts.
What bad habit do you want to rid yourself of this month?
I'd like to rid myself of taking people at their word rather than measuring their actions.
What are your favorite muses?
My muses include: classical music and bodies of water.
Name one thing Uniquely Different that you recently discovered about yourself?
I tend to love people more than they do themselves.
What is your definition of passion vs intimacy?
I think passion is more of an inner feeling whereas intimacy is an outward expression.
What are you vibing too?
I am vibing to male/female relationships; India Aire and my kids.
What are your favorite gadgets?
My favorite gadgets are: remote control and the camera phone.
What would be a perfect date with the person you're thinking of right now?
My perfect date: plane or helicoper ride to a Brazilian restaurant w/rodizio style - located on the water (like my favorite restaurant - El Porcao in Miami); followed by a day at the spa; receiving two dozen roses from my date (one at the beginning and one at the end of date); a comedy or love story; ending with conversation and cuddling at the beach or nearby body of water.
Last book read?
I reread Jesus CEO.
What would you rename if based upon your perception of the storyline?
I'm not sure.
How many times do you look at your blog or the blogs of others?
I look at blogs a couple times per day.
Who's your favorite blogger or spot you find lurking around most often?
I like DC's site.
If you were to live the opposite sex for the day, what name would you give yourself?
I'd give myself the name Christian.
Describe yourself in 3 adjectives
I'd describe myself as spiritual, altruistic, and industrious.
One goal you set for yourself for the month of March.
My goal would be to resume my Mastermind program.
Life is the most precious of all God's gifts.
What bad habit do you want to rid yourself of this month?
I'd like to rid myself of taking people at their word rather than measuring their actions.
What are your favorite muses?
My muses include: classical music and bodies of water.
Name one thing Uniquely Different that you recently discovered about yourself?
I tend to love people more than they do themselves.
What is your definition of passion vs intimacy?
I think passion is more of an inner feeling whereas intimacy is an outward expression.
What are you vibing too?
I am vibing to male/female relationships; India Aire and my kids.
What are your favorite gadgets?
My favorite gadgets are: remote control and the camera phone.
What would be a perfect date with the person you're thinking of right now?
My perfect date: plane or helicoper ride to a Brazilian restaurant w/rodizio style - located on the water (like my favorite restaurant - El Porcao in Miami); followed by a day at the spa; receiving two dozen roses from my date (one at the beginning and one at the end of date); a comedy or love story; ending with conversation and cuddling at the beach or nearby body of water.
Last book read?
I reread Jesus CEO.
What would you rename if based upon your perception of the storyline?
I'm not sure.
How many times do you look at your blog or the blogs of others?
I look at blogs a couple times per day.
Who's your favorite blogger or spot you find lurking around most often?
I like DC's site.
If you were to live the opposite sex for the day, what name would you give yourself?
I'd give myself the name Christian.
Describe yourself in 3 adjectives
I'd describe myself as spiritual, altruistic, and industrious.
One goal you set for yourself for the month of March.
My goal would be to resume my Mastermind program.
********************I tag PFStew!
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Things My Grandma used to say...
- "Don't let anyone give you a wooden nickel."
- "You can't make a man love you."
- "You'd better love your sister, one day she may be the only person you've got."
- "I don't give a "Tinker's Damn!"
- "It wouldn't be life without something happening."
- "You got to roll with the punches."
- "Hot damn it!"
Inside vs. Outside
There are numerous ways of building yourself up. You can build your self esteem from the “inside out” or the “outside in”.
Building yourself from the “inside out” focuses on your intake. They say, “you are what you eat”. Therefore, what you consume literally and figuratively make a big difference. You must watch what you eat, read and hear. All of which are significant in your personal and emotional development.
The “outside in” concept deals with the outer appearance. Sometimes one may have to dress and smell a certain way to feel good about his or herself. This is the sort of “fake it ‘til you make it “ approach. This concept shows the world a confidence that you may not yet have developed. Further, it gives you the opportunity to physically demonstrate and view yourself in a positive manner.
Building yourself from the “inside out” focuses on your intake. They say, “you are what you eat”. Therefore, what you consume literally and figuratively make a big difference. You must watch what you eat, read and hear. All of which are significant in your personal and emotional development.
The “outside in” concept deals with the outer appearance. Sometimes one may have to dress and smell a certain way to feel good about his or herself. This is the sort of “fake it ‘til you make it “ approach. This concept shows the world a confidence that you may not yet have developed. Further, it gives you the opportunity to physically demonstrate and view yourself in a positive manner.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Rice On the Wall
I am convinced as the old saying goes, "the more rice you throw at the wall, the more that will stick". I've recommitted to throw as much rice on the wall as possible. I am living, learning and loving the pursuit of each and every dream. I've learned not to share all of my goals with people but I've learned to share with them just enough to keep them at bay. I have used dreambuilding to establish and assert myself in a world all my own! My training has led to my kids knowing they can do and be anything they wish during this lifetime.
Well, I have to go get more rice!
Well, I have to go get more rice!
Monday, March 19, 2007
Life
I met you
I flirted with you
I didn't trust you at first
I held back a great deal
I later kissed you on the cheek
I learned to really embrace you
I talked to you daily
I traveled with you
I even sat right in your lap
I confided in you with my deepest secrets
I introduced you to my family and friends
I made love to you time and time again
The more I gave you
the more you gave in return
I finally put all my cards on the table
for you to see
I am pleased with my decision
I flirted with you
I didn't trust you at first
I held back a great deal
I later kissed you on the cheek
I learned to really embrace you
I talked to you daily
I traveled with you
I even sat right in your lap
I confided in you with my deepest secrets
I introduced you to my family and friends
I made love to you time and time again
The more I gave you
the more you gave in return
I finally put all my cards on the table
for you to see
I am pleased with my decision
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Breaking the Rules
If you haven't been being yourself - now is the time. If you have tailored yourself to someone else's pattern, it is time for you to learn and revert back to being you. Should you find that you are not moving fast enough, then pick up the pace. In essence, you will probably find it beneficial to do opposite of what you are doing now.
I learned to step outside the box a long time ago. I understand the use of varied strategies. Never will I succumb to the notion that there is one way to reach the finish line. I have found that people will dictate to you what they want you to become. When you change for them, they usually have another set of items for you that need adjusting (at least from their perspective). I was astounded by the way men while preface their statements with, " the problem I have with you is..." as if it is really my concern. Don't they know that their opinion of me is none of my business? Should I be living for them or God? It has been said that the first thing a man is attracted to in you is the first thing he wants to change. Why is that so common? Is this an issue of control or what? Who is really confused?
I learned to step outside the box a long time ago. I understand the use of varied strategies. Never will I succumb to the notion that there is one way to reach the finish line. I have found that people will dictate to you what they want you to become. When you change for them, they usually have another set of items for you that need adjusting (at least from their perspective). I was astounded by the way men while preface their statements with, " the problem I have with you is..." as if it is really my concern. Don't they know that their opinion of me is none of my business? Should I be living for them or God? It has been said that the first thing a man is attracted to in you is the first thing he wants to change. Why is that so common? Is this an issue of control or what? Who is really confused?
Life in Five Short Chapters by Portia Nelson
CHAPTER 1
I walk down the street.
There's a deep hole in the sidewalk.
And I fall in.
I am lost. I am helpless. It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
CHAPTER 2
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it. I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It takes a long time to get out.
CHAPTER 3
I walk down the same street and there is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there, and still I fall in.
It's a habit.
But my eyes are open and I know where I am.
It is my fault and I get out immediately.
CHAPTER 4
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
CHAPTER 5
I walk down a different street.
Saturday, March 17, 2007
I Think I Can (author unknown)
I Think I Can
If you think you are beaten you are;
If you think you dare not, you don't;
If you want to win but think you can't;
It's almost a cinch you won't.
If you think you'll lose you're lost;
For out of the world we find
Success begins with a fellow's will;
It's all in a state of mind.
Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger and faster man,
But sooner or later the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can.
Ideal Mate
| Christian, loves the Lord, purpose driven, honest, loyal, dedicated, mature, confident, articulate, hard-working, health conscious, giving, athletic, respectful, family oriented, organized, happy, positive, appreciative, nurturing, self-sufficient, friendly, affectionate, witty, self-motivated, high-energy, well-versed, business minded, outgoing, educated, mechanically inclined, compassionate and altruistic. |
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